I'm going to try to keep these short of opinions so that they read faster. It also forces me to be more creative (I want my writing to improve), so let's get started.
- This should be a lesson to all gas attendant employees to not take the law into their own hands and jump into a car to stop a criminal. Especially when you're only 21 and, apparently, still able to be yelled at by your mother for doing so. Good effort, though.
- Gross! The guy who put his hair in someone's steak pled guilty to food tampering. The chef and his co-worker were fired when a man who complained about his steak was offered another one by the manager, but the cook felt like the man was trying to get away with free food and implanted pubic and facial hairs in the steak. Remind me to never piss off a chef.
- This is a thief who tried the if-at-first-you-don't-succeed approach to robbery and made a fool of himself trying to steal an ATM. Sadly, the ATM thing was the second attempt at getting money at this place. He finally got some cash, but there's video of his exploits so feel free to point and laugh at him. You know I will.
- If you've already gotten in trouble for grabbing a cop by the short and curlies, what makes you think it's a good idea to break your probation by getting drunk? She can do upwards to a year in jail for violating probation, but she deserves jail time for having the nerve to be an up and coming model (because those lips are not cute).
- Every time it rains
felons from heaven
Don't you know each ceiling contains
felons from heaven? (Thanks, Dean Martin)
Now onto the strange and stupid.
- New York apparently has the power to shut down the Gates of Hell. I wonder who left them open?
- Some gas station was getting a jump on Christmas gas prices by charging $9.09/gallon at a station here in Ohio.
- Why is someone trying to play Where's Waldo with a Hulk statue? He's eight feet and has no feet, so he shouldn't be hard to find. Too bad it's proving to be more popular than the film itself.
- For all my Chicago readers, watch out for the blackbirds!
- I'm mad that I have to post this, but we must all do our part to keep Avril Lavigne from having more YouTube views than Evolution of Dance. Considering that "Girlfriend" is a rip-off of a Josie and the Pussycats song (great bad film), I can't let this one go.
- A tiny island off the coast of Scotland has declared his independence and will only answer to the crown. If it weren't too far away from everything, I'd consider moving there myself (to get away from "iars, thieves and tyrants in government"). I could take or leave the "crown" thing.
- It's been covered, but this heifer (I've seen her; this fits) is suing Victoria Secret because of faulty underwear. You have to be doing something really stupid to make a piece on the side fly into your eye. That, and those weren't her size. She was kidding herself and now wants $ from her own stupidity. Bitch.
- Cute! A cinnamon bear decided it wanted to go swimming in a hotel pool. He got in, had a little fun, and moved along. I wish there were pictures.
- When hunting woodchucks, don't mistake your foot for the woodchuck. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A whole lot more since blowing a hole in your foot & not a woodchuck, fool.
- Are people so clueless that they don't know what WTF means when it's on their license plate? Yes. And I can't really fault the woman as much as I fault the DMV for not catching the WTF, LOL and NME combinations that they've released on the public. Personally, I would love it if my plate said any of those things. Ohio's so puritanical that someone would force me to remove my plate once they figured out what WTF meant. Ah, good old-fashioned paranoia.
- The Emmy awards have declared that "You Can't Stop The Bitch" by awarding Tyra(nt) Banks an Emmy for Best Talk Show, Informative. Why, God, why is this woman awarded for self-centeredness?
- A Jamie Lynn article that made me laugh: A member of The Cheetah Girls hopes for the best for mother and child, but what cracked me up was her response to the possibility for motherhood for herself.
"100 percent, I will be married when I have my first child," ... "I know that is a pretty big statement, but my mom would murder me. I come from a super religious family."It was the "Aw hell no! I ain't havin' no baby now" answer that I loved so much. At least there are some young people who want to go the traditional route still out there.
- To round this out, I'm linking to a Janet Jackson is surprised by baby plans article with one which list Celine Dion's AC/DC cover voted the worst cover of all time. I love you, Janet! Celine, not so much. But the Celine article also lists Jimi Hendrix's "All Along The Watchtower" and I love Jimi (I mean love Jimi) so that makes the article cooler.
One more Overheard in New York quote for the road:
There's Always Something New to Say About Boobs
Guy: I hate coming-of-age stories.
Guy: They're boring.
Girl: Yeah, but this one has boobs in it.
Overheard by: kim
via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008