I'll reserve that right...

I was looking over the patient's rights webpage from the hospital where I'm supposed to have my baby and found an interesting item on the list that I apparently have a right to:

"The right to complain"

I am so amped right now! I don't really like to complain (even if I do vent on a regular basis), but I like knowing that if I do have a grievance with the hospital for any reason, I have been given permission to complain about it. The catch is that they have a list of patient responsibilities, one of which was really interesting:

"Accepting consequences"

So if I screw up, I have to own up to it. Fair enough.

This whole hospital thing is a big deal for me because I've never had a major procedure done before, and the only time I've spent in the hospital has been in the emergency room for asthma attacks. I've never broken a bone, received stitches, or have been admitted (but I was given way too much albuterol by the nurses and doctors who lost track and that stuff will make you really high), so I'm kind of freaking out about this hospital thing. Especially after my grandmother's death in January, where she died within hours of getting to the hospital, those places freak me out. I didn't go see my mom when she was admitted over Mother's Day weekend in '06 (I had a class, but I wish I had just gone), and when my grandmother got sick when I was in high school, I spent the whole time in the hospital wanting to leave.

I now feel guilty about that, too.

I'm not going to have my family around me when I have my baby, and that makes me feel a little sad. They all live 2.5 hours away and unless the drivers [my crazy aunt and my douche-bag dad] want to make the trip, the others can't get down here.

I'm supposed to have a baby shower soon, care of my church, so I hope my mom can make it. I really want her to be here for that.

I never thought I'd say this with any level of sincerity, but I want my mommy.