Monday, June 23, 2008

I can't help it

It's been a rough 24 hours with the loss of George Carlin and Dody Goodman joining Cyd Charisse in shuffling off this mortal coil, so I'm going to post more of the Overheard in New York quotes I read today. I have also added a new random quote generator to the bottom of the blog where everyone can get a little NY in them.

A lot of these are rather dirty (nasty, really) and I think some can quibble with the last one, but I think my favorite of this bunch is the "Hag Recruiting" one with "Glass Slipper" being a close second [some can say I chose the "intellectual" type, but I don't act ignorant around him].

He'll Give Me a Glass Slipper. I'll Think It's a Hat. We'll Laugh and Laugh

Black girl #1: I wanna date a white boy. One that looks like a skater.
Black girl #2: No, not me. I want an intellectual, so I could act all ignorant around him and he'd still love me.

--158th & St Nicks

Overheard by: jay r.

via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

Love Is Nothing Fancy, Sweetie

Girlfriend: And ya know what? Just fuck you, okay? If that's what you think, fuck you!
(Boyfriend sneezes)
Girlfriend: Bless you.
Boyfriend: Thank you.
Girlfriend: Awwwww... that's the nicest conversation we've ever had!

--Central Park

via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

When My Fingers Have That Problem You Call It a Crime

Teen girl on cell: Yeah, I have a problem keeping my fingers out of my vagina.
Guy friend (to her back): Wow. You have never been hotter.

--Madison Square Garden

via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

Martin Luther: Really?

Loud teenage guidette: He doesn't date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he's gay or something. I heard---yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he's protestant---like religious. They worship this Chinese guy...
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don't date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don't date white people.


via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

But It Was Her Deathbed Request!

College student #1: Yeah, I pissed on her, but she was old.
College student #2: It doesn't matter! You fuckin' pissed on a girl!
College student #1: But she was old!
College student #2: Old... young... It doesn't matter! You pissed on a bitch!

--Canal St & Church St

Overheard by: Kenny Gay

via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

And Thus, the Backwards Cowgirl Was Born

Girl: What do you want me to do? I can do anything, that's why I get acting jobs.
Boy: I can't think of anything.
Girl: I can do anything; I can do anything you want me to do and I can do it well.

--69th St

Headline by: Moon

· "And Yet, You're Not on Your Knees..." - Katie Darling
· "Before You Pick Up the Hooker, Have a Plan" - CV
· "Kim Possible Breaks Out the Dirty Talk" - john
· "Like Getting Me a Drink Menu?" - phox
· "Looks Like I Just Might Finally Get My Roof Fixed" - engsci
· "Portrait Of the Densest Boy on Earth" - samson
· "Sally's Gaydar Works Again!" - Sara Irene
· "Save It for the Next Election, Hillary" - NR
· "What Does a Girl Have to Do to Become a Fag Hag Around Here?" - rudy valahan

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

How Children Learn to Stop Giving Warnings
Small child: I'm going to bite you, mom!
Mom: No, wait till we get off the train.

--1 Train
via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

After Experimenting, Goldilocks Finds a Religion That's Just Right
Guy #1: Y'know, I really just need to get it through her head that there's nothing wrong with waking up naked in a Jewish synagogue.
Guy #2: Yeah... I feel that, man.
Guy #1: I mean, now that it's happened more than once, she really needs to realize that it's okay.

--NYU Gallatin Elevator
via Overheard in New York, Jun 23, 2008

So Many Possible "Jam" and "Spread" Jokes--The Mind Reels
JAP #1: I hate boys who won't kiss you after you go down on them.
JAP #2: Yeah, I know. But I don't kiss boys after they go down on me.
JAP #1: That's awful! If he can handle it, you should too.
JAP #2: But it's so bitter! I'm just saying: if they sold a jam the flavor of my vagina, I would not buy it.

--27th & 5th
via Overheard in New York, Jun 22, 2008

Hag Recruiting Starts With an Attack on the Candidate's Self-Esteem
Flamboyant NYU guy: Oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in so long!
Ditzy NYU girl: I know, right? Oh my god!
Flamboyant NYU guy: This is, like, so weird! I was just thinking about you!
Ditzy NYU girl: Aw, cute! When?
Flamboyant NYU guy: I was all alone at home on Friday night and feeling really depressed and then I realized you probably didn't have any plans either! That made me feel better!
Ditzy NYU girl: Hah... Wait, what?

--W. 4th & Greene St

Overheard by: jon
via Overheard in New York, Jun 22, 2008

According to the Best-Seller How to Be Fat and Live in New York
Skinny girl: I may see if she can drive me to Target later.
Friend: She has a car?
Skinny girl: Yeah, it's the only way to be fat and live in New York.

via Overheard in New York, Jun 22, 2008


David Dust said...

New Yorkers are messed up...


SailorAlphaCentauri said...

I know, right? But I love them anyway.