Monday, June 9, 2008

New Mission in Life

I have decided that I must have some new ambition, and here it is: I want to either get an autograph from Stephen Colbert (complete with photo), or do something so noteworthy to get on the show. Since I have no political ambition (and avoid political talks like the plague), I'm shooting for the former over the latter. My feeling on this is that I want to do this because he earned cool points for being intelligent and funny, and because I'm, simply, an idiot.

I even have a couple of ideas of where I'd like his autograph to appear in my autograph book (it began it's life as a journal with floral pages). I'd either like it to be near the autograph of my favorite author, Peter S. Beagle, or I'd like it to be near Beetle Bailey creator Mort Walker. However, I think his character would appreciate being by Mother Goose and Grim creator (and editorial cartoonist) Mike Peters.

Why am I shooting for the autograph instead of the interview? Quite simply, by the time I can do something with my comic-book-induced educational endeavors, his show might be off the air. Besides, he's smart and I'm not (I don't care what anyone says) and that's a little intimidating. I could try to create an internet phenomenon to get national attention, but I'd like to think I have a little more substance than a gimmick to be on the show.

I am not sure why I've developed this sudden fixation, but I'm trying to think of ways to put this plan (half baked as it is) into action. He tapes his show in NYC [yay!], but my broke ass can't afford to go anytime soon. I refuse to Greyhound to NYC (going to Cleveland from here is enough of a pain that I would probably end up killing someone on the bus before I got to New York and that's not the kind of fame I want), and I won't be able to fly towards the end of the summer, so I don't know what else to do.

I could write a song and get it on YouTube. I can also stick bamboo shoots under my nails.

I could try writing to him but I want to be present when the autograph is signed so that I can photograph the moment like I have all the others.

Okay. Here's my new hair-brained scheme: I'll write him a letter telling him about my desire to either get an in-person autograph or get interviewed based on my academic pursuit and see where that goes. This idea is so stupid, I'm laughing at myself for even thinking of it! How am I going to get a letter to him? Besides, I don't want to sound like a stalker (I've had one; they're not fun & mine was pretty harmless compared to most of them).

I'm (rather) serious about this. I haven't been this excited about something so ridiculous since I applied to grad school to study comics (or since I met Peter S. Beagle last summer). This will probably go nowhere, but I'd like to believe that I would at least try to do this before it falls apart.

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