Today's News: Funny and the Effed-Up

I wanted to get back to being a little more lighthearted after yesterday's PSA, so here's what I've found of interest in the news today:

- Am I dreaming, or did a bunch of rude salespeople get thrown out of a hotel for being rude? No? So dreams do come true...

- If Lassie can get a star on the Walk of fame, why can't Cheetah? I hope he can get it; it's only fair.

- Here's proof positive that some drunks don't learn the first time and have to be arrested twice, within hours, for trying to drive.

- Bus? What bus? Oh, you mean the school bus I just stole? Well, I needed a ride home after you arrested my friend. The drugs and weapons were just accessories.

- And this rocket scientist returned to the scene of the crime after trying to rob a Dunkin' Donuts with a newspaper that he pretended was a gun. Once you see his picture, you'll see why they say this guy was easily recognizable.

- After my hullabaloo with Time Warner, I can sympathize with this guy for "kidnapping" a cable technician who was incompetent.

- And this is why I think reality t.v. needs to stop: Remember when this was called Circus of the Stars? You don't? Wow, I'm old. Anyway, I'm sick of the elimination-style competition that everything has become and I long for the days when stars would do circus stunts for our amusement. Hey, Aunt Rachel's tightrope walking skills came in handy when she had to use it in an episode of Family Matters (I'd have to find a link eventually...just not now), so it was good for something. But considering that this is a cast of has-beens, also-rans, and never-weres, maybe the new name is a better fit.

- I may not be Catholic, but even I know better than to have sex in a confessional during Mass.

- And now, my one-two punch on the Hogan family: Brooke is totally skeeved out that her mother is dating a 19-year-old that she went to school with, and Hulk really needs to stop saying crap like it's God's way of making the victim of his son's accident a better person by permanently disabling the guy. Leave God out of this; he's got sinners having sex in confessionals to worry about! But, seriously, he needs to go to hell for continuing to show that he's an insensitive jerk about this. (I don't know if both clips cover the exact same length of footage, so they are included).

- And, finally, for all the Obama supporters, a Tom Tomorrow comic about this historic event. "This Modern World" should be required reading for political news, so make sure you check it out weekly!

That's enough for today. I'm going to leave out the Janet Jackson article because I think her record company did try to screw her by not promoting her album (but, then again, it's hard to have a sustained music career today where most older artists are ignored for today's new ones whose music will be forgotten five years from now). It's currently on E!s website, but I refuse to read the comments for it because I know they will piss me off.

Try to stay hydrated in this heat.

As for me, heat+pregnancy=misery. I now have the ability to warm up every room I walk into, and I get to look forward to this all summer long. Later.