Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Strange and the Baffling

Here are today's news stories. I feel like crap, so I don't know how creative I'll be with these things.

- A man was doing a bad drag impression by walking down the interstate wearing a thong, fake boobs, and a wig.

- A couple was caught skinny dipping in the reservoir, and since this water is not filtered before it gets in people's homes (eww), they almost had to throw all of it out. Almost. So, eww squared.

- A woman is seeking $30,000 in damages when her home was mistakenly demolished. She thinks it's fair compensation because all of her belongings were inside. This happened to someone here, but it wasn't a mistake; the demolition people waited until he left for court to get the injunction (that he received), but I don't know if they ever paid him for destroying everything illegally. Why colleges (or cities for that matter) think they can get away with this is beyond me.

- The Swedes have been good to me for the second day straight: A drunk man tried to row home from Denmark and fell asleep in the stolen boat along the way. At least the boat owner won't be pressing charges.

- Seriously, can't people just not talk to each other? This guy was so annoyed with a conversation in a ferris wheel that he climbed out of the car while it was moving and had to be talked back down.

- This was cute: A giraffe helped a bunch of animals escape from the circus. It's always the kids who want to go, and the animals who want to leave.

- I've got two "stupid teenager" stories. The first is a teen girl who bit her mother over a cell phone. If your phone is like crack to you, maybe you shouldn't have broken curfiew. The second tale involves a 14-year-old who pushed an old man off of a dock because "he thought it would be funny." Well, ha-ha dumbass, because now you get to sit in jail (which you deserve; especially since you used your one phone call to brag to a friend about being a jackass). Stupid teenagers.

- And now for more serious news: the missing 12-year-old's stepfather has been arrested on molestation charges. He had been molesting a female relative that wasn't the missing girl for the past five years, and this is the second arrested relative in this case. Her uncle (a registered sex offender) was picked up the day before. I think one of the posters on abcnews.com may have been onto something when they said that she might be better off away from these people (but still alive, of course).

- This is disturbing, because it's happened before: A woman dies on the waiting room floor and is ignored by everyone in the NYC hospital waiting room for a full hour. Several staff members have been fired, and the union ones are going through procedures to end in the same terminated fashion as those not in the union for leaving this psych patient alone and falsifying reports that she was "fine" when she was, perhaps, already dead. Earlier this year, a woman died while in an emergency waiting room in California because she was accused of being a drama queen for coming in several days in a row. When her family asked the police to intercede on her behalf, they arrested her and didn't notice that she had died until the officer ordered her to get in the car and she didn't move. I wasn't scared of the hospital before these stories, but they do make me incredibly nervous.

I don't like ending these in a somber mood, so I've got a quote from today's Overheard in New York that I'll end with.

You're Kidding Yourself If You Think Those Things Don't Matter

Account executive: So, who'd you vote for?
Creative director: Obama, he's got cool logos.

--New York Ad Agency, Midtown

via Overheard in New York, Jul 1, 2008

No comments: