Mixed-Bag News Stories

Today's stories are all over the place. Apparently, crazy things are going on all over the world, and not just with the criminals (but they have kept busy). As I try to figure out the order I'm going to proceed with, I'll just throw it together and see if it holds. Let's get started.

- A woman was shocked when she discovered that the man robbing her pizza store was her father. Her father, mother, and husband(!) were planning a robbery (that the husband says the victim was unaware of), but the husband thought they were going to hit a convenience store and not the store where his wife worked.

- A brain-addled Brit has been banned from posting his videos on YouTube because he was sharing all of his criminal exploits on the website. The article calls him the country's most brazen criminal, but I don't know what I'd call him. Other than stupid.

- A drunk woman tried to bribe the police with money and sex to get out of a drunk driving arrest. Let's just say this plan didn't work.

- A man pulls a triathlon as he biked, swam, and ran away from the police who still caught him anyway. He gets points for creativity, but loses ultimately for getting caught (and being a dumb criminal in the first place).

- Three Romanian boxers who had been banned from boxing for life for shoplifting in Chicago had their sentences reduced to a year. This really wasn't that interesting now that I think about it, so I don't know why I'm posting it.

- I am probably the only person who wouldn't have been bothered by this at my graduation: A man has been told he has to apologize for dressing up like a penis to the entire town for being offensive. I get that what he did was wrong, but I'm not as hung up about it as anyone else would be. My high school graduation was so dry that anything disruptive would've been appreciated.

- This is rather cute: An 11-year-old now tracks people's speeds with a toy radar gun that actually records people's speeds. Going 55 in a 25 mph area is too fast, but I don't like the fact that the city will only put in speed humps if the residents will pay for half of it.

- An air hostess dug a Kit Kat wrapper out of the trash (that she had thrown away 2 hours prior) and won a trip to the Earth's upper atmosphere. Sometimes a person can have that Willy Wonka experience and get something cool. Good for her!

- This would've been so cool on video: A couple in a Latvian apartment survived a lightning strike that destroyed their glass dining room table. Their table top had turned into dust, and I would've loved to have seen that even if thunderstorms freak me out.

- But who would want them? Seattle is selling its 5 self-cleaning toilets due to the illicit activities that would take place inside. So far, no bids have been placed on any of the systems (and at $89,000 to start, I am not surprised).

- To end this edition, I looked around for the best link on this guy who represents the ultimate in irony. A man, who was going to meet a 14-year-old for sex, was busted wearing a World's Greatest Dad shirt. This article, courtesy of The Smoking Gun (which, btw, has the best show on Tru TV featuring stupid criminals in clips, and famous celebrities/former stupid criminals giving their two cents which airs every Thursday at 9 pm) also features other "bright bulbs" in tragically hilarious shirts.

I was wrong about my bad luck: The hat I bought for my husband actually arrived yesterday, but I haven't opened it to see if it's going to work. I really hope he likes what I got him this year.

I can't believe it: Eight years ago I was a 22-year-old student running home from a Statistics class to be forced to try on five dresses just to wear the first one I put on and was driven downtown to get married in front of my grandmother, mom, uncle, and two ladies whose job it seemed was to sit there and watch people get married all day. After celebrating with a cake in my apartment, my family went home, my new husband fell asleep and I talked on the phone with one of my girlfriends for six hours. I went to school the next day with a professor asking me why I was in school after getting married. My response? "I'm paying for it, so I'm going to show up." We didn't have a honeymoon (didn't really want one and couldn't afford it anyway) and while we did have a wedding the next year (complete with a trip to Cedar Point the next day before going back to work that Monday), this is the anniversary that means the most because it's the real one.

And while I know he probably will never read this, I just want to say that I love you and thank you for putting up with me all these years. We've managed so far with just the two of us, so I think we can handle being parents together (but the poor kid is going to have some weird parents). I look forward to the many years ahead (even if I don't always act like it). I love you, Matt.