Random Acts of Funny

I'm going to mix it up a little. Not only am I going to do some "Overheard" quotes, I'm throwing in some comic relief because I'm crazy like that.

God, I Love Playing Grand Theft Auto

Frat boy #1: I feel like I just had sex.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, I know the feeling.

--Grand Central

Overheard by: Commuter

via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

Isn't That the Highest Compliment Among Your People?

Queer #1: Sometimes you remind me of Donny Osmand.
Queer #2: Sometimes you remind me of an asshole.

--NYU

via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

My Webcam Tested Negative

Girl: Did you use a condom?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: Your going to get an STD!
Boy: No, I'm not. It's okay.
Girl: That's what you said last time!

--Union Square

via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

Gene Simmons: What?! I Fucking Quit!

High school hipster #1: Dude, you know that guy Ray Simmons?
High school hipster #2: Who?
High school hipster #1: Ray Simmons, Ray Simmons. I dunno dude, the fucking guy from KISS.
High school hipster #3: Richard Simmons.
High school hipster #1: Yeah, that's it, Richard Simmons.

--Path Train to NYC

Overheard by: sweatin' to the oldies

via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

Though I'd Probably Have Been Smited by Now
Suit #1: I have to leave at five today.
Suit #2: Why?
Suit #1: I have to go to church.
Suit #2: Jesus Christ! I wish I was religious.

--New York Post
via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

Plus, I Got You That Golden Ticket, Veruca
Three-year-old: I have a lot of M&Ms at mommy's house.
Dad: Yes, but you get more snacks at daddy's house.

--Path Train

Overheard by: Jatmos
via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

I Wept Profusely Throughout
Emo kid: Dude, have you seen Alvin and the Chipmunks yet?
Big black guy: No, not yet.
Emo kid: It was off the hook!
Big black guy: Really?!

--Starbucks, Port Authority
via Overheard in New York, Jul 29, 2008

For Me, Getting Married Would Be Like Playing Madhouse
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Getting married is like playing house! It sucks!
Drunk girl #2: Yeah! I never want to get married or have kids. I have too many mental illnesses to pass along.

--L Train
via Overheard in New York, Jul 28, 2008

Good Point-- Fuck Those Furry Little Bastards
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.

--A Train
via Overheard in New York, Jul 28, 2008

Thanks for the Recipe, Pampered Chef!
Thug #1: Yo, what it mean when you call a woman "apple bottom"?
Thug #2 (half asleep): Cake.
Thug #1 to thugette: See woman, I told you it mean you got cake.

--1 Train

Overheard by: bianca's boyfriend
via Overheard in New York, Jul 28, 2008

The... Dude Police?
(drunk group of 20-somethings stumble out of a bar onto the street)
Unstable random lady: Alcoholic! You need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!
Drunk guy: Dude, just mind your own business.
Unstable random lady: Don't call me dude! I'll call the cops on you!

--W 3rd & Thompson
via Overheard in New York, Jul 28, 2008

Sorry, I Prefer My Men Filtered
Redneck guy: Hey, got an extra cigarette?
Hipster guy with hipster girl next to him: No, sorry man.
Redneck guy: Well, can I fuck her then?

--43rd & 7th

Overheard by: no, she's mine
via Overheard in New York, Jul 28, 2008

Here is a Pearls Before Swine comic which answers the question for the ages.

Agnes wants to come up with the saddies to be depressing comic strips to make the reader's world seem so much brighter.

I have been negligent in my "Tom Tomorrow" comics because the Village Voice stopped feeding my RSS feeder with them, so here's the catch-up.
- Sparkman (last seen sometime last month) is able to overcome the bad press from his Anti-troops statement to come out the victor.
- An explanation for all the different Obama haters out there.
- An explanation for the "appeal" of McCain to his supporters.
- And, finally, the private eye film on the free market hand's need for a "fix".

Still with me? Okay.

Candorville did a comic which pointed out the lunacy surrounding Michelle Obama's pride in her country comment (trust me, it's worth reading).

Finally, a couple of comics I can actually embed (if I can get it right) that are random, funny, and here for the hell of it (courtesy of xkcd.com.



[code][url=http://xkcd.com/451/][img]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/impostor.png[/img][/url]





EDIT: I have no idea how to embed anything, so these comics will either not show up at all or will only show part of the image depending on your browser. I'll try to fix this later, since I need to be getting home.