Rough Night

I am doing my very best not to freak out after what happened last night. Between MIA family members and just getting sick, I'm surprised that I'm as calm as I am right now.

I usually call home three times a week and Wednesday is one of those times. Unfortunately, my mysterious stomach ailment hit me around 6:00 yesterday which caused me to end up in the bathroom instead of on the phone at my appointed time of 8 [I've been getting these intermittent stomach pains off and on for years and nobody knows what they are; I attribute it to eating too much of the wrong things that give me gas that gets trapped (a lifetime of gas problems will give one that impression)]. So when I finally do try to call home, their number is disconnected. Both house numbers. And my uncle's cell phone. They've been without power for a week now but they still had phone service, so I'm starting to get worried and call my husband home from his friends' place (fortunately, that's a 45 second walk). I try to call my brother and accidentally call my dad (and promptly hung up on him) and when I finally get a number for my brother, it's off as well. Even Crayzee isn't answering her phone, and that leaves me feeling like I'm adrift with no family contact. My husband offered me three options: To a) ask Daddy Douchebag if he'll check on them, b) ask his father to check on them, or c) to drive up there and get them. I refuse to give my father anything that he can spread around in the streets about them and I don't want to trouble his father so those two options were out. And I was too sick to make the trip last night (besides, I don't know where they are...they could be with friends or who-knows-where). I ended up drifting in and out of sleep all night until the pains subsided for good around 6 a.m.

Apparently, Crayzee got our message and said she hasn't heard from them either. However, she'll be available to talk around 9, so I'm making Matt talk to her then (I'm still not ready to play nice with her yet). We were going to bring both of them down for next week since the baby is going to be here soon and we are in serious need to getting the house together, but I have to find them first. Honestly, this is the most scared I've been in a long time. I'm incapable of helping them financially (because they won't let me; they know I'd do whatever it took to get their utilities back on), I don't really have any connections in the area that I can use to help them get work; I can just use the same temp agency that helped me out and try to put in a good word once they've applied, and I have to stay calm so that I don't go into labor early.

One of the adages that I used to put alot of faith into was "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." I'm not sure I believe that anymore. I've had my issues with Him since January, but I don't even know what to think or feel, other than frustration and anger. I can't just sit by and watch my family disintegrate, but it seems that is exactly what I'm being forced to do. I hope that they can get to a phone and call me. I just want to know that they're alright.