Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm Carrying What?

Things have gotten a little interesting in soon-to-be-a-mother-land as I'm currently carrying a 9 pound, 5 ounce baby (weight as of yesterday afternoon). At first this was something that was just interesting, but now it's gotten a little stressful when my doctor told me that the baby is almost too big for a natural birth and I might have to have a cesarean, but because I'm a tall, large woman, I might be able to pull this off. Unfortunately, this was the appointment in which I could've used my husband's support (he opted to stay home), so when I was asked what I wanted to do, I almost lost it. How do I make a decision on whether to go for natural or surgery [and I use "natural" in the sense of pathway of delivery and not in the no-epidural context]? I told my doctor that I wanted to wait a week to try to have the baby, so I'm going to be scheduled to be induced next Wednesday night.

My doctor is hopeful that I will come in for my morning appointment dilated 3 centimeters so that they won't have to induce, but seeing as I'm almost 2 centimeters and not effaced, I'm worried that I will have to go the surgery route. I've never been in the hospital for more than a few hours at a time in the emergency room for asthma attacks, so this baby will be the first time I've had a major procedure, and now I'm starting to get scared. What if I can't have the baby naturally? What if we start that way but it gets stuck at the shoulders (which my doctor says is the fear when the baby is too big)? I know that a cesarean is not a mark of failure (considering how many people in my family have had them), but I still feel bad if I have to do that. And surgery will take longer for me to recover from, making going back to school even more difficult. And for all I know, the ultrasound could be wrong and the baby is smaller than it says (or it could be larger), but I won't know until delivery day.

Now the problem is, if I have the baby early [The original due date was today, but was changed to September 6] I will stop working sooner than I wanted and that will put us in a bad financial fix. If I manage to get all the way to Wednesday, the baby may be too big and I would have to have the surgery. Or I could go into labor over the weekend and end up with someone other than my primary doctor doing the delivery. Anyway out, I don't win.

I'm trying to stay calm about this, but it's hard to not feel bad that this isn't going in a way that makes sense to me. I had no plans for how I wanted this to go, I had just hoped I'd be the first in my family since my great-grandmother to have a natural birth and that may not happen. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm carrying a baby that's approaching 10 pounds. We'll have to see how this goes.


kansaskp said...

I am just a random person in cyber space but...
You could very well be carrying a 7lb baby! Ultrasound this late in pregnancy is notoriously inaccurate - as in several pounds either way inaccurate. I am 5ft 7in and about 150lbs not pregnant and I gave birth to a healthy 10lb 2oz baby at 43 weeks.
Your doctor seems to be pushing an induction or cesarean for all the wrong reasons. If neither you nor the baby has a true medical reason for a cesarean then just say NO!
I've been there and I know it's hard and I ended up with a c-section for listening to my doctor who had HER best interest in mind while providing my "care".
You are already dilated to a 2 - that's awesome! The more you dilate now, all the less you'll have to do while in active labor. Your body is working and it was amazing enough to grow this baby - please trust that it is able to give birth to this baby.
If you are interested in more info please visit
kansaskp - mom to four
one cesarean
two hosptial VBAC
one HBAC (home birth after cesarean - as in REAL natural child birth!)

kansaskp said...

3carnations said...

I didn't know you were so close to giving birth!

I would take the doctor's advice when the time comes. My son was almost 9 pounds. I pushed for 2 hours, but he was transverse, which made it harder for him to come through the birth canal. Eventually, I spiked a fever and we and they opted to do a c-section rather than risk an infection for me or my son.

Neither option is better than the other; sometimes it's not really up to you. Whatever needs to be done for a healthy baby and a healthy you is the best way to go, in my opinion.

SailorAlphaCentauri said...

Considering that my due date is the 6th, I'm actually okay with the inducement. I'd rather not have the c-section, but what I want is secondary to what is best for the baby, so we'll see how it goes.