I was asked to sing the song "Small Enough" as a solo for church service yesterday. My choir director was delivering the message [which is what I guess we call it when it's coming from a lay person instead of from a minister, where it's called the sermon] and she had a song that had a very personal meaning to her, as it was the song that she heard in her darkest hour that put life into perspective. Of course, I was really freaked out because I didn't want to ruin her favorite song, but we practiced on Thursday and I hammered out some of the rough spots with her and the pianist.
What I wasn't expecting was to be recorded doing the song. I'm not thrilled because 1) I don't like hearing my own recordings [I still haven't watched the DVD of the Talent Show a few months back], 2) My allergies leave me with full sinuses that make me sound very nasal, and 3) I kept screwing up the song! It was written (seemingly) after the artist sang it, so there were a lot of runs and extra notes which kept throwing me off [too many notes for the words]. The choir director and her boyfriend [they are the most awesome couple I've seen in a very, very long time!] made a recording of me singing before service (and I have it on disk now...I'm not happy about that) and I think there's a second recording where the song is in its proper context; the middle of the message.
The choir director (who needs a name...let's call her H, to continue with my relative anonymity theme from my ebloggy days) was delivering a message where she spoke about how people have called out to God in the bible, and how she has felt so small and helpless after all of the things she went through in high school and the beginning of college. [Sadly, I have a bad tendency to not pay enough attention to what people say, so I have the gist (if not everything she said) of her message.] What was really cool about the service is that it gave everyone more insight into how she is so strong in mind, and spirit, even when her Chronic Fatigue takes its toll. I think that you would find her picture next to "indomitable spirit" in a phrase-dictionary because she tries so hard to do everything and won't let anything hold her back.
I'm impressed by her mostly because she one of the few people I've met out there in the world who is genuinely kind. She may have been hurt by her soft heartedness when she discovered the true nature of some people, but it's still there. I have a difficult time trusting people, and I kept up my walls when I met her, but I'm trying to let my guard down a little when it comes to people like her. They're a rare breed in this day and age, and it wouldn't be in my best interest to shut someone like her out...not that I have much to say to her anyway (I've still got my secrets to keep for now).
Maybe, if I find a way to do so, I might make the recording available for people to hear. Maybe. I'm always going to hear the mistakes I made, so I'm not sure I'm going to do it, but I don't really know how to put audio on the Internet without worrying about trying to sell it, or copyright violations (if any), or anything else.
I'm tired; I'm looking forward to getting home and listening to some records I picked up at a record shop yesterday. Yes, I said records. What? I like vinyl. I liked it when I was a kid, but I was only allowed to play with eight-track cartridges because I couldn't break them. Have a good day, everyone ;-)