I haven't been well for awhile, and I'm ready to just crawl into bed and not get out for the rest of the day (but I think I have to cook, so that's out). I had a headache all night yesterday and nearly got sick in my sleep (again). I didn't get out of bed until after 12 today, and to add insult to injury, my little 13 inch television burned out. My husband wants to switch to his old t.v., but that thing is so damn big that we'd have to take everything else off the desk to make it fit. Besides, it's the electric company's fault for the power surge that fried it anyway. Very upsetting.
The only thing I have going in my favor is that I'm too sick to feel depressed. I'd rather be depressed; that's easier to deal with and doesn't result in me freaking out over possibly throwing up. Of all the things that scare me (which is a short, but rather humorous list), vomiting is #1.
My mom was never really good at being the "caregiver" type when it came to illness, so I've always taken care of myself and wouldn't turn to her (or anyone) when I didn't feel well. I just want to go home, get in bed, and forget about everything for awhile.
I feel the need to redeem my mother after that last paragraph. My mom wasn't good at a lot of the "mom" stuff that the stereotypical mother is supposed to be good at, but that has changed a bit since I've gotten older and (due to being a mother-to-be) she's told me a lot of stuff that helps me to understand why she wasn't quite like other mothers (youth, inexperience, and more capable people taking over tends to do that). That's why David Dust's mother's advice tends to resonate with me (Thanks, David & Mama Bunny!) because my mom is good at telling me things that I need to hear. That, and she did get volunteer of the year at my school for being a playground monitor when I was in the first grade, so she was doing some things right.
I want to go home, so I'm done for the day.
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
...this sucks
I am feeling a little sous le météo today, so I'm not sure what I'm going to end up posting or when. I found some more articles, but I'm going to have to wait and see if I can come up with witty reparté to go with it. I'm just glad I'm going to be going home early.
I'm more worried about my asthma than anything else right now (because the baby is up to its usual kicks, so that's not a worry) because my back has been very tight lately, making it harder to breathe.
And I'm mad at myself because I was going to do a new recording for The Sims SingStar last night, but I heard the sirens go off at 11:30 before a severe thunderstorm hit hard in the area. The sirens prompted me to go online to find out that we were under a tornado warning, and I ended up spending part of my night in the bathroom.
I hate to admit this, but one of the things that manages to scare me is a thunderstorm. I hate hearing the thunder, seeing the lightning crack near my window freaks me out, and I'm always afraid that the power is going to go out. I know a lot of people who love thunderstorms, but they all turned out to be afraid of needles so they can't lord my fear over me. My husband called me from work to make sure I was O.K. and I sounded even more like a baby than when I was by myself.
I don't like to show any signs of weakness, but I've not been able to get through a thunderstorm without being at least a little scared. I would even wake up just before one would hit, and I can sleep through just about everything else.
Hopefully, I'll feel better soon.
I'm more worried about my asthma than anything else right now (because the baby is up to its usual kicks, so that's not a worry) because my back has been very tight lately, making it harder to breathe.
And I'm mad at myself because I was going to do a new recording for The Sims SingStar last night, but I heard the sirens go off at 11:30 before a severe thunderstorm hit hard in the area. The sirens prompted me to go online to find out that we were under a tornado warning, and I ended up spending part of my night in the bathroom.
I hate to admit this, but one of the things that manages to scare me is a thunderstorm. I hate hearing the thunder, seeing the lightning crack near my window freaks me out, and I'm always afraid that the power is going to go out. I know a lot of people who love thunderstorms, but they all turned out to be afraid of needles so they can't lord my fear over me. My husband called me from work to make sure I was O.K. and I sounded even more like a baby than when I was by myself.
I don't like to show any signs of weakness, but I've not been able to get through a thunderstorm without being at least a little scared. I would even wake up just before one would hit, and I can sleep through just about everything else.
Hopefully, I'll feel better soon.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I feel sicky, oh so sicky...
...I feel sicky, and icky and blah, and I envy anyone who isn't sick today (la la la la la, la la, la la la).
In the grand tradition of throwing bad after good, I'm feeling like hell after finally making some progress towards my grad school applications. I get these really bad stomach pains that are intermittent and, at times, truly unbearable. It is the one thing that I can't handle; given the choice for a migraine-level headache (as I don't have migraines because I only exhibit some of the symptoms) and the stomach pains, I'd rather have the headache. Even the risk of vomiting [which is something that terrifies me to no end...choking on it a long time ago exacerbated the problem] is something that I'd prefer over these damn pains. I've been to doctors for this a number of times and nobody can figure out what is wrong with me. It's not ulcers, it's not gall stones and, after my last trip to the emergency room, it's not a "female problem" (even though, honestly, I have no idea why they thought it was), but it is usually attributed to a build up of gas that doesn't exit out of the two "normal" exit points, but rather tries to find its way out through a 'pocket' right above my stomach as if to breech the skin. It's unpleasant, misery-inducing, and is going to make this weekend completely and utterly terrible.
I'm going to the 2007 Festival of Cartoon Art this weekend, which looks to be a lot of fun (as well as educational, and building brownie points towards getting into grad school) but it requires that I miss a day of work (bummer) and that I be somewhere at 8am on Friday and Saturday (which actually sucks). I'm going to be doing this and going to a Halloween party on Friday, I still need to study for the GRE, and I need make more progress towards completing my grad school proposal write-ups. All this, and only one day off before I have my reading group on Monday. My house is a perennial mess, my husband has been minimally helpful (which is a step up from his usual, I-work-therefore-I-do-nothing-at-home position), and my clinical depression isn't getting better. Being sick just makes it so that eating is an adventure in culinary avoidance, and the distension that this causes makes it look like I've gained a considerable amount of weight.
In short, life sucks.
And, to top it all off, I feel incredibly guilty for complaining because there are so many people who have it worse that I can possibly imagine.
I don't know what my point was. I guess it was to let off some steam. I just hope I'm well enough to eat a little bit more than miso by Friday, or alcohol will be completely out of the question. Later.
In the grand tradition of throwing bad after good, I'm feeling like hell after finally making some progress towards my grad school applications. I get these really bad stomach pains that are intermittent and, at times, truly unbearable. It is the one thing that I can't handle; given the choice for a migraine-level headache (as I don't have migraines because I only exhibit some of the symptoms) and the stomach pains, I'd rather have the headache. Even the risk of vomiting [which is something that terrifies me to no end...choking on it a long time ago exacerbated the problem] is something that I'd prefer over these damn pains. I've been to doctors for this a number of times and nobody can figure out what is wrong with me. It's not ulcers, it's not gall stones and, after my last trip to the emergency room, it's not a "female problem" (even though, honestly, I have no idea why they thought it was), but it is usually attributed to a build up of gas that doesn't exit out of the two "normal" exit points, but rather tries to find its way out through a 'pocket' right above my stomach as if to breech the skin. It's unpleasant, misery-inducing, and is going to make this weekend completely and utterly terrible.
I'm going to the 2007 Festival of Cartoon Art this weekend, which looks to be a lot of fun (as well as educational, and building brownie points towards getting into grad school) but it requires that I miss a day of work (bummer) and that I be somewhere at 8am on Friday and Saturday (which actually sucks). I'm going to be doing this and going to a Halloween party on Friday, I still need to study for the GRE, and I need make more progress towards completing my grad school proposal write-ups. All this, and only one day off before I have my reading group on Monday. My house is a perennial mess, my husband has been minimally helpful (which is a step up from his usual, I-work-therefore-I-do-nothing-at-home position), and my clinical depression isn't getting better. Being sick just makes it so that eating is an adventure in culinary avoidance, and the distension that this causes makes it look like I've gained a considerable amount of weight.
In short, life sucks.
And, to top it all off, I feel incredibly guilty for complaining because there are so many people who have it worse that I can possibly imagine.
I don't know what my point was. I guess it was to let off some steam. I just hope I'm well enough to eat a little bit more than miso by Friday, or alcohol will be completely out of the question. Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
