tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8511735576598185302024-02-21T00:53:28.272-05:00School, Life, and More Utter MadnessA random blog on a woman who is going back to college (again), still in need of a sense of direction, and hoping to reconnect with humans.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.comBlogger209125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-86990810119522860882016-09-07T13:30:00.000-05:002016-09-07T13:30:01.766-05:00<a href="http://writeordie.com"><img src="http://share.writeordie.com/image.php?wordsmin=0870018"></a><br />
<p>Mind you, this would be a better brag if the website didn't wipe out what I wrote after it claimed that it saved my work, but still...good effort. :/</p>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-61883230667351373142016-08-16T12:19:00.001-05:002016-08-16T12:20:22.229-05:00Busy...It's been a few years, and I've been a bit busy.<br />
<br />
I have been working on my PhD, and I managed to pass my Candidacy exams last May (2015). I also have faced illness and now am a Type II Diabetic. I've also run out of funding for school because I've taken too many hours to finish this degree, so I've launched a fundraising page in order to raise money to pay for school. I did not ask for the amount I would really need for finishing school, but I've asked for some under the hope that I can successfully petition for more hours and finish my degree.<br />
<br />
Since this is my second petition, there is the possibility that I will not be successful.<br />
<br />
All I ask for is prayers if you are the praying type. If you can donate even a small amount, I would be forever grateful, but I won't be upset if you cannot or choose not to help out. How can I be mad? I probably don't even know you, and you don't know me from a hole in the wall.
Anyway, I can't guarantee that I will write a ton of things on my blog, as finishing my degree is my top priority, but I'll try to keep you, gentle reader, in the loop.<br />
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On the positive side of things, I have managed to get two jobs that will help out a lot. One is as a tutor and the other is a graduate assistantship appointment that will help with tuition (which is great news, if the person is accurate in their information).<br />
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If nothing else, advice for those going into college at any level: Be your own advocate for financial aid! Keep on top of things. Keep track of your hours and any time you contact your financial aid office, write down what they tell you and make sure to get that person's name. You are your best hope of keeping yourself eligible for aid.<br />
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Take care, everyone. :-)SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-35928203508527887522013-09-21T22:24:00.000-05:002013-09-21T22:24:01.718-05:00Random RantHi everyone. I've been busy (I had a great trip to San Diego, and I hope to write about it someday), but I just saw something from Conan O'Brien that I needed to address. It's one of those meme images where he says the following: "Over the weekend Lebron James got married.... He was set to marry his high school sweetheart in Cleveland, but then he got a better offer from a girl in Miami."<br />
Not funny.<br />
First of all, he <b>did</b> marry his high school sweetheart (we'll put aside the fact that this was 9 years and one child later). Secondly, he married her in San Diego (why?). Finally, it's just old and tired. People have tried to move past this whole thing and it's just not funny. Now if Conan did not say this, I will say that whoever attributed this to him did this in poor taste. If Conan did say it, then there's nothing else to say. It's just not cool.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-61999017301069084662013-07-03T11:09:00.000-05:002013-07-03T11:09:00.118-05:00The Fundraising Continues...<p>Hi everyone. I'm back again to talk about my fundraiser to help me get to San Diego in a couple of weeks (yikes!), but I have something new: An <a href="http://thinkjenthink.com/2013/07/interview-lets-get-kay-clopton-to-sdcc-to-talk-about-manga/">interview</a> I did with Jen of Think Jen, Think. In the interview, I talk about my studies and why I think looking at onomatopoeics is worthwhile. I especially love the fact that the image she used of me is the picture I took with Peter S. Beagle (he wrote <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Unicorn">The Last Unicorn</a>, a book I love and one of my favorite film adaptations of all time). I recommend that people check out the interview and consider contributing $5 to my fundraiser. If you cannot donate (or online donations aren't your thing), you can spread the word to others. You can even send donations offline if you aren't comfortable with the whole online thing (contact me through the <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/3a7p5k">GoFundMe</a> webpage).</p>
<p>I'll try to keep people posted about the fundraiser and my success. I'll even post a follow-up after it's all over. Thank you for your support.</p>
SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-32522382996541098492013-06-16T00:28:00.002-05:002013-06-16T00:28:38.273-05:00Trying to Get to San DiegoHi everyone. I am doing a fundraiser to help me get to San Deigo. I have been given the opportunity to present a paper at the Comics Arts Conference, which is part of <i>the</i> San Deigo Comic-con. For those of you who remember, I am a PhD student who is studying comics. As time has gone on, I have honed in my focus on sound effects in Japanese manga and American comics. This presentation is, essentially, an opportunity to try out my dissertation at a huge event. I am going to do whatever it takes to get there, and I've set up a fundraiser webpage to ask for money. Any help that I can get will be greatly appreciated, so check out the link below.
<p>Most people know that being a graduate student is costly; I've got a four-year-old to take care of and a whole family to support on a meager salary. I am going to this conference because this is important to my career; here is a chance for me to meet people who can help me get to the next level in my research. This is also my first time going to Comic-con and, I'm not going to lie, I'd really love to go at least once. I had to give up two other conferences this year because of the need to do my candidacy exams, so the paper is incorporating resources from my exams so that my research is doing double-duty to get me ready for this. If you have even a dollar that you can donate, that would be very helpful. Please do what you can.</p>
<p>Also, if you happen to be attending Comic-con, look for me at my panel. It should be on the website eventually (the link is on the fundraising site). If you're curious, GoFundMe is kind of like Kickstarter for individuals. Let's see how successful I can be. I'll keep you posted as things come in.</p>
<a href="http://www.gofundme.com/3a7p5k">My Fundraising Page</a>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-18016891179228731532013-06-10T02:47:00.004-05:002013-06-10T02:47:51.208-05:00Just Some Thoughts...Hi everyone. It's been awhile, and since I am usually a bit verbose or wordy with my posts, I'll try to keep it short. It's really late and I should be asleep, but that has been hard to come by of late. I am currently getting through my reading list for my candidacy exams, and I'm battling self-doubt. When the fall semester begins, I'll be in my sixth year of graduate school (wow!). It's been a wild ride, but I have to keep myself focused in order to finish my PhD.
<p>As for D, she's is such a vibrant, smart, and tall little girl. I'll have to find the time to put up a picture of her, because she's grown so much over the years. She just finished preschool and she will be in kindergarten in the fall. Thinking about her caused me to think of something that may make me stand out as a bit weird. Most people (parents, mostly) tell people who are having their first child to treasure the moments with them because they grow up so fast. Some people lament missing big milestones in the child's life. I didn't, and I still don't. Yes, I missed a milestone or two with D when she was a baby because I was in school, but it didn't bother me all that much because everything, and I mean <b>everything</b> that I've experienced with her has made me excited for what will happen next in her life. I'm very excited to see her grow up, but I'm not as hung up on when she was a baby and all that. I think this may make me a bit different from other moms, but that's just how it is for me. I don't really miss those days of when she was a baby. I'm just looking ahead & looking forward to seeing what she will become. I think it's weird for me simply because I desperately want to hold onto the things from my past (despite my inability to do so), so I'm not sure what that says about me. I think it's just a different way of seeing things; I didn't really get hung up on my wedding because I thought that the rest of the marriage was far more important and interesting, and I don't get sentimental about when my little girl was born.</p>
<p>Now if I can carry that attitude into my studies, I'd probably be in great shape.</p>
<p>I miss writing this blog, and as much as I'd love to resume my former posting pace, that's probably not going to happen. I say I'll try to post more regularly, but we see how that goes. Let's just keep it casual and see how it goes.</p>
<p>Oh, before I forget: My paper proposal was accepted for the Comic Arts Conference at San Diego's Comic-con! I'm going to have a chance to try out my dissertation topic in front of an audience, so I'm really excited about this. I gave up two conferences this year in order to focus on my studies, so I am not passing this up. However, my big hurdle is that I've got to raise funds in order to go. If I do opt for an online fundraising site, I'll link to it here as well.</p>
<p>I'm going to stop writing before I get into updates about relatives I'd rather forget about. If you are familiar with what I've said in the past, you have an idea to whom I am referring.</p>
<p>...and what is the deal with the spam? I just had to clear out ~200 posts that were just nonsense. And they need to stop saying that I should link my posts to Google+. Are they crazy?! I leave names out <i>on purpose</i> so that people <i>won't</i> find me. Wow.</p>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-90157931186442853452012-12-03T21:52:00.000-05:002012-12-03T21:52:29.547-05:00Product Review: Efficient To-Do List<p>I have been in a desperate search for a useful to-do list to help keep me organized, and I found it in the <a href="http://www.efficienttodolist.com/">Efficient To-Do List</a> program. I have been able to keep track of not only my activities, but my daughter's as well. I like the ability to utilize different colors as well as noting how much progress I have made in my tasks. It has been a much-needed change from my mental to-do lists because I can see how much work I have ahead of me, and how much (or how little) I have actually accomplished. Being a PhD student in the middle of candidacy exams, I need something to help me stay on task, and the Efficient To-Do List has helped me to do just that. Now if only I can get it to write my reading list for me....</p>
<p>Anyway, what else can I say about this product? I like that even the free version has a lot of functionality and <b>isn't</b> a 15-day trial that asks me to pay $50 to a company that I doubt still exists (that was the last program I used, and its full version didn't even have the functionality of Efficient To-Do List's free version). The first sign (for me) that this was going to be good was that the full version is less than $25. When you are priced reasonably, you have my attention. Secondly, the ability to decide what you want to see (i.e. you can change the view to only look at what's due that week or that month, see what is overdue, or look at high priority tasks) so you can further organize your time. I also like that you can set up alerts to let you know when something is due. I've included a screenshot of the product (with the names of people removed) to show you what it looks like and some of its features.</p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiedY6TcikYXZttsYJLgHGromvpJdU73erb2_7SV302Fepfjq4XeZzbCw2P3oPRLpEAyCwT7JcMTpZVvzAqeRpqJWOiWhY8yVorIVXm7g_SVOsaMhOTwkT03I_00B_M1YSpOkC_5IaQuRY/s1600/To-Do+List+Example.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="175" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiedY6TcikYXZttsYJLgHGromvpJdU73erb2_7SV302Fepfjq4XeZzbCw2P3oPRLpEAyCwT7JcMTpZVvzAqeRpqJWOiWhY8yVorIVXm7g_SVOsaMhOTwkT03I_00B_M1YSpOkC_5IaQuRY/s320/To-Do+List+Example.png" /></a></div>
<p>Overall, I cannot recommend this product enough! If you need a product to help keep you organized an on-track (and if you don't, you are a better person than I), the Efficient To-Do List is for you. And if you are a student who lives on your technological devices, I strongly recommend it because it will only serve to help you. And if you are the type of student who has a tendency to not read syllabi and ask their instructors when things are due repeatedly, you need to click on the link below and get this ASAP. On behalf of all instructors and professors, we will thank you for getting this product and making use of it.</p>
<p>Get it here: <a href="http://www.efficienttodolist.com/">Efficient To-Do List</a></p>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-64072744265701150102012-12-03T21:42:00.002-05:002012-12-03T21:42:33.738-05:00Wow. I need to spruce up the place...Hi everyone,
<p>I am in the midst of working on my candidacy exams, so my posts will again be few and far between (I'm reeeeeaaaaly sorry!), but I wanted to just drop a line and let people know what's going on these days.</p>
<p>I have most of my committee together at this point (3 of 4 people needed) and I am working on my reading list (which is what I should be doing <b>right this minute</b>). The first semester at my University ends tomorrow, but I finished my teaching duties today. I had a great group of students, and I hope that they all got something out of the class. Teaching is no longer the nightmare it once was, but it takes time away from my work, so the balance is very tough. I also did a paper at a conference that was held in town (and I think it was my best presentation to date), and someone approached me about publishing it, but I think I waited too long and I may have missed my opportunity. I will get in touch with them this week because it's worth a shot. I have to stop being afraid of things and move forward, so wish me luck in this and all my other endeavors.</p>
<p>I also applied to the PCA/ACA conference in Washington DC this coming year, and was <b>floored</b> when the paper was accepted within 30 minutes. Normally, this would be a happy occasion, but with my exams, it's just extra work. So, I'm going to write the paper over winter break [It's time to break out the Kristeva] so that I'm not worrying about it in March when the conference takes place.</p>
<p>My little girl is now in preschool!</p>
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The first two images are from her first day of school, and the third was the <i>end of the day</i> after the first day of school. I can't believe she's so big at only four years old. My uncle tells me all the time that she looks like my mom, and that makes me happy. It still hurts that my mom and grandma are gone (and that the world turned to shit after their deaths), but I get up and move forward everyday because that's what I have to do. I have to finish this degree for my daughter. I just have to believe that I can do this.
<p>Well, I have to get back to work. If I can, I'll post more. If I ever find the spare time, I need to update the page because there are some digital cobwebs that needs to be cleared. I may also post some other things from time to time (i.e. reviews, manga discussions, etc.), so just know that I miss you all and hope that everything is well for you. And for those of you on the East Coast, you have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since Superstorm Sandy, so keep you head up and know that I am hoping for the best for all of you.</p>
<p>Take care, everyone.</p>
SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-52990766824680423362012-06-15T11:43:00.001-05:002012-06-15T11:43:38.317-05:00Little Update<p>I have a little bit of time, so I just wanted to stop in and say hi.</p>
<p>"hi".</p>
<p>Anyway, I am currently working on a one-page proposal to use as my letter of introduction to two people I would like to have on my committee. I'm not sure what I need to say, and my notes are semi-illegible, so as long as I submit something today, I should be in good shape.</p>
<p>As for everything else, I'm in a bind because I have reached my limit on student loans from the government, so from here on out I am going to have to apply for as many grants as possible (and I may have to pick up another job) in order to pay for the rest of my PhD. It was not a complete surprise because I knew that there was a limit,but I had the wrong amount in mind as to when that limit would be reached. If I were in the health professions track, I could access a total of $225,000. Unfortunately for me, the standard graduate school track has a total of $138,000. I would have had two years of funding left if I had never gone to library school, but since that degree is going to help me in getting work in the future, I would not trade it for anything.</p>
<p>I'll not get into the current family drama (mostly because I'd rather not think about it), but I will say that it wouldn't be a typical day in my life if there weren't some bs going on. I <i>will</i> say that my dad is being a dick in the situation, so he should not be surprised as to why I try not to talk to him</p>
<p>I hope things are going well for everyone else out there. I can't blog the way I used to, but I hope that I will be able to do some entries that deal with my PhD work in some way. And I keep promising pictures of my little girl and I will post them as soon as I can find the disk that they are on.</p>
Take care out there.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-43224462008866631292012-05-27T01:59:00.001-05:002012-05-27T01:59:14.040-05:00...Making no PromisesIt's been a long time, everyone. Sorry for the disappearance again. I've been trying to get my ... act together since finishing my Master's degree and embarking on the PhD. So what has happened since New Year's? <br /><br />
- I managed to get an advisor for my exams.<br />
- I then got sick in early February which took me out for a couple of weeks. Type-G Strep and a sinus infection one on top of the other is not anyone's idea of a good time. Good drugs, though (however, Vicodin is over-rated).<br />
- I lost my advisor by being dropped via e-mail <i>to the head of my department</i>. Since I was (re)doing my Independent Study with this person the next day (because it was not completed last quarter due to illness), I didn't know how I was going to face her. The result: She didn't mention it, and I didn't bring it up. Ultimately, she has now offered to be my third reader when I get to that phase. I'm glad I said "when". I have to believe that I can do this. I've had enough people tell me that I'm smart enough that I'm almost ready to believe it.<br />
- I now have a new advisor, but I have to prove that I will get my exams done. They had to be completed this year (ruh-ro!), so if I can show that I am making great progress, then I can stay.<br />
- My little D is still doing fantastically well! She's well over 3 feet tall (as many feet as she has years), and it's been a fascinating time to see her vocabulary develop. Now if I can get hubby to get back out there and try and find a job, it might help lower my stress.<br /><br />
I wish I could find the time to do this more, but I won't make any promises that I probably won't keep. I will <i>try</i> to put up pictures of her soon. I have some recent ones that we took for the spring, but the disk is downstairs and I don't feel like getting it at 2:30am. I've also got a lot of work to do grading rough drafts of my students' papers. I'm glad this is a holiday weekend, but I've only graded 3 out of 25 and I need all of the extra time that I can get. It's late, and as much fun as it is to get back into writing again (because real life gets a little lonely), I've really got to get some sleep. Goodnight from "the heart of it all."<br /><br /><br />
P.S. I've got to spruce up the place; this blog needs a change of scenery. We'll see what I'll do when I have time.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-49697149520258148212012-01-01T00:30:00.002-05:002012-01-01T00:40:26.511-05:00Happy New Year!Happy 2012! I hope that this year brings the best for everyone.<br /><br />But before I go, I must say this: 2011 saw the loss of a number of great people. Three elders from my church passed away (Isabelle Bucklew, Bill and Mary Riley), and what makes it painful is because Mary passed away the Monday after Thanksgiving, and her husband died a month later (and I missed Isabelle's funeral by not checking my e-mail). I also lost a Singing Angel friend, Erica (Bodrock) Drap, right before Christmas (she died two years and one day after my mother passed). I just hope that with the close of 2011 I see the end of DeathWatch 2011.<br /><br />I really don't need a DeathWatch 2012, so let's keep death to a minimum this year.<br /><br />I'm also blown away by the sheer number of famous people who died in '11. However, the tribute done by Turner Classic Movies was beautiful, so I close this entry with their tribute and dedicate it to all we have lost. The song is "Before You Go" by <span style="font-weight: bold;">OK Sweetheart<span style="font-style: italic;">. </span></span>Take care, everyone.<br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5rlu8wvW1Vg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-32826222778039066312011-09-03T02:31:00.000-05:002011-09-03T02:32:01.583-05:00It's Been a Long, Long Time Let's just say I've been VERY busy since my last post back in JANUARY (wow, really?). While some things have stayed the same (e.g. unresolved issues back home still ill left unresolved, with relatives I am still refusing to speak to), some things have changed...and some of it is actually good. I finished my second master's degree in June and I am now officially a PhD student (yay!). My thesis had some issues (like a last-minute cancellation of my defense in February which I have likened to the scene in <i>Goodfellas</i> where Joe Pesci's character is walking into the house to become a made man with the triumphant music playing only to be shot in the back of the head), but I looked at the <i>josei</i> manga <i>Cappuccino</i> as a cite for feminist critique and cyberculture study. The feminist angle was inspired by my committee chair (who has now left to go to another university, which has left me feeling a bit untethered), but it had to be modified to reflect Japanese feminism (which makes sense), and the cyberculture angle comes from the fact that the translation I read was done illegally online. It's really cool that it is available online (I'm not sure if it will ever be printed), but I'm not linking to it because of some possible copyright issues with the images I used. I believe I am protected under Fair Use, but why risk it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm posting because I'm a bit frustrated with the way my world seems to work for me. Hubby lost his job in August (which sounds like a broken record because the same thing happened at the same time last year) and because my university doesn't deign to pay graduate students during the summer, we are broke. However, the biggest thing bothering me is that my daughter's 3rd birthday is coming up on Sunday, but we are having trouble getting anyone in her age range to the party. It's not her fault that her birthday falls on a holiday weekend this year, or that despite telling two of the parents ahead of time about this they still had other plans which were taking them out of town; it's just upsetting to me because my family has had a long history of not being able to have successfully well-attended parties. It wasn't until I was an adult (with friends I've known for more than half my life) that I have been able to have enough people show up for a party to consider it well-attended. Honestly, having a 25% attendance rate for my sweet 16th (1 of 4) was a success to me because someone for me showed up. <br />
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My standards are quite a bit low.<br />
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Anyway, I'm upset for her because none of her friends will be there. Fortunately, she's young enough that it won't be a problem, but I'm not too keen on doing any more of these things. It's hard to have a party for a child when it's on a holiday when people want to spend time with their families (not for me, but that's because there are very few family members I still want to speak to who aren't living in my house), and if I had known that people were not going to show up, I would have given her a party on another weekend. We're competing with a holiday and the opening weekend of the Ohio Renaissance Festival (and we do attend this, but we go towards the end of the season so I can buy stuff on discount; that has more value to me than the 50% off entrance fee for the opening weekend, but I understand why people are going when they're going). It also helps that we do a little something for her at church, so she is going to be on cake overload for her birthday.<br />
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Maybe I'd be a little less upset if this week hadn't been so stressful, but as I seem to only function if I have at least a minimum level of chaos, stress, and instability in my life, I'm somewhat used to this. I hope my baby girl has a happy birthday anyway.<br />
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Well, it's late and despite wanting to end on a happier note, I need to be bright eyed for photos tomorrow. I'll try to make sure that I post pictures and/or video soon because my girl is TALL! She's not yet three, but she's 40 inches tall. No, that's not a typo. And she's thin, too. And she looks just like my mom. And whether you see that as a positive thing or not to end on, for me it's a good thing. Goodnight everyone. When I do get online, it's more likely my Twitter page so holler at your girl! :-)SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0Victorian Village, Columbus, OH, USA39.9795023 -83.010623439.9673348 -83.0303644 39.9916698 -82.9908824tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-53610930885731360092011-01-29T00:47:00.006-05:002011-01-29T01:43:45.012-05:00Got to Keep It BriefI've been very busy trying to finish my Master's thesis, so my posts have all but dried up. I'm teaching a class which is going okay (last quarter was better, but these aren't bad students), but I have to balance that with taking two classes that require 25 page papers at the end of the quarter as well as defending my thesis on February 25. I'm a bit stressed out, so keep me in your thoughts as I try to get through all of this in one piece.<br /><br />On the home front, hubby lost his job in August, futzed around until he up and found a new job in November that required he work full time for six weeks until his training was over, and now he is working part time (mostly on the days I would normally study all day). Devi has really grown and changed over the last few months. She's already 3 feet tall (at two years old!) and she's an amazing little girl. I just wish she had more opportunities to play with other children, so I'll have to work that out.<br /><br />I've not been the most fun person to be around of late, so this is an apology for everyone that has to put up with me. I hope to have my Master's done so that I can FINALLY be a PhD student. It's bad enough that I was accepted into the program last year, but that I haven't been able to graduate due to the thesis and the foreign language exam really isn't cool. That, and it is screwing me up with the Feds over my student loans, but more on that later (maybe).<br /><br />To make amends, I have pictures we took from Devi's second birthday session. If I have some spare time, I'd like to put up her birthday party pictures, but that will have to wait. Good night and I will see you when I see you.<br /><br />P.S. Before I forget, I will be doing a conference in San Antonio, TX in April, so I have to finish all of this stuff to qualify for funding for my trip. Yay.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijWGextygxxD9cAHgzkdXuNKveuLHzk5EuAxAeeSczSt19wlOXYoePtwe-LDAyLX12Guob6EF2k97ADOc39ybY9Yo8r4UCD3B6AB6_I78231X6FJm4nL3tYc7xTdYk7gRYAKasJdPdOqs/s1600/HiRes_2332219990491.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijWGextygxxD9cAHgzkdXuNKveuLHzk5EuAxAeeSczSt19wlOXYoePtwe-LDAyLX12Guob6EF2k97ADOc39ybY9Yo8r4UCD3B6AB6_I78231X6FJm4nL3tYc7xTdYk7gRYAKasJdPdOqs/s320/HiRes_2332219990491.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567493263680853266" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpsMpnDXLHukOKMDXo5oF9Ibssrnw-X7s-jT-G4SFcnaMXngwnkcv6A8hYD-_dl9Fqy_5VwDGTq-8wxNn69RJDCLeYCcLF5We2bvLB2g9Hnxtfst59g7TpJ4xykKP2VgUY58yvjdoTWRg/s1600/HiRes_2332219990350.jpg"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQoYZ9nh6F_bVnDGSTAciNaozbYtq3Csxj13lqFqET4V2coD2vS5pzk6eBVjSA7Wm_XKwNlGDGIuO2y-xJLm3GlYWNJpTWS1qIaagXZVsjB9pIABOK6IwiElpRrFjPyfDWitqgryUnzBQ/s320/HiRes_2332219990210.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567486493228120722" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNDrOjAAWmc9bIgIMP-2JKDZRaaD8M2sFQuUW0gbcfdkoVgH2DAd3hzA-7tzqL2oEmyQmDbu_jY4ZSzPUDlfeFf5IlB7iHQTYopvO-9CGppbYNu98T3XUueWWyn5ItjTMkX5E26zlGHLs/s1600/HiRes_2332219990517.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNDrOjAAWmc9bIgIMP-2JKDZRaaD8M2sFQuUW0gbcfdkoVgH2DAd3hzA-7tzqL2oEmyQmDbu_jY4ZSzPUDlfeFf5IlB7iHQTYopvO-9CGppbYNu98T3XUueWWyn5ItjTMkX5E26zlGHLs/s320/HiRes_2332219990517.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567486481434029442" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRJr32B0rJBVF2J0RVsi292PL-hUqbenq62wiHSi0OZ-LzsohFWwhG7RbKJIHLntG1wccj38WARXa48nklqDCc7BOwi4n1SfLhsAQtAyUfPzNqx4yZVe84gs-kjmpj6QTrzb6GPj4f4KM/s1600/HiRes_2332219990079.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRJr32B0rJBVF2J0RVsi292PL-hUqbenq62wiHSi0OZ-LzsohFWwhG7RbKJIHLntG1wccj38WARXa48nklqDCc7BOwi4n1SfLhsAQtAyUfPzNqx4yZVe84gs-kjmpj6QTrzb6GPj4f4KM/s320/HiRes_2332219990079.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567486479925882674" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlH1YF7rugPmkR6kVtXk5OFFk8EHLEk56tR3JTJ8ACl-g5Jk1kVvt4wCwqo8guYvmvmEd6aSaZZYWe9pbAnPV_t3LF2CgHmzjac9E8Q-558Cpt4YJD-kBIPtIUn7TCNSwnfCBclxFYO-Y/s1600/HiRes_2332219990475.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlH1YF7rugPmkR6kVtXk5OFFk8EHLEk56tR3JTJ8ACl-g5Jk1kVvt4wCwqo8guYvmvmEd6aSaZZYWe9pbAnPV_t3LF2CgHmzjac9E8Q-558Cpt4YJD-kBIPtIUn7TCNSwnfCBclxFYO-Y/s320/HiRes_2332219990475.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567486473293722338" /></a>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-27605327778122589152010-08-14T23:49:00.003-05:002010-08-15T00:09:02.353-05:00Not Dead, Just BusyAlthough it's been so many months that I doubt anybody is reading this anymore, I just wanted to put up a quick post to show that I'm not dead, I'm just incredibly busy. I will be teaching a new course in the fall (we're still on quarters until 2012, so "fall" doesn't begin until late September), and I have been trying to work on my thesis, which was supposed to be done by next month, but is looking unlikely. The drama with my family has been holding steady for awhile (I'll get into that later, if at all), and Devi's vocabulary has been exploding by leaps and bounds.<br /><br />I am hoping to get into something a little more semi-regular, but I have to keep in mind that I should not vent about my students out of fear that someone will try to get me fired, again (long story; stupid student said I wrote things online that I have found do not exist, and while it made me look bad to my teaching advisor, nobody else in my department cared). I should also look to use my blog as a way to talk about my work (which will help me in processing what it is that I do) as well as to vent a little about the seemingly never-ending drama about my life.<br /><br />I won't make promises, but I hope to have less venting in the future. It doesn't make me feel any better to write this out [But I will go on record that I still hold firm on my opinions of certain family members. They can't go to hell fast enough. Okay, done.], and I'm sure that people don't want to read about this anymore.<br /><br />So, I apologize for complaining, and I apologize for abandoning my blog for my almost equally infrequent use of <a href="http://twitter.com/SailorAlphaC">twitter</a>.* I hope to get back on track, and I hope to revamp my page to look a little different (but don't get your hopes up).<br /><br />Devi's birthday is coming up soon, so I've got to get the planning underway. I will put up pictures from that party as soon as possible.<br /><br />It's too late to be posting, so I'm signing off. See ya.<br /><br /><font size="1">*My twitter account is set to private, so if you don't have an account or cannot log into yours because of the twitter pop-up window, I apologize.</font>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-28245900185450715732010-04-06T00:44:00.004-05:002010-04-06T01:12:05.815-05:00Workin' in a (thesis) Coal Mine...It's the second week of Spring Quarter, and I just wanted to touch base here while I had a few minutes (time I really don't have) to talk about things.<br /><br />I managed to get through last quarter with my head intact. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of reading my online evaluation scores the day before the new quarter began, and I was slaughtered by my students. Since these things are now online, only half of the class bothered to do the evaluations, and I had at least one student give me straight 1s. The rating system is from 1 to 5 with 1 being the worst score you can receive. However, my department also makes students fill out a more comprehensive evaluation form where they actually have to answer questions with words and not filling out the bubbles on a Scantron sheet, and those have been more fruitful. I had one student say my instructions were never clear, and another student said that my instructions were <span style="font-style:italic;">very</span> clear. I am going to go over everything with my teaching advisor soon, but I'm already making changes to my teaching style that I think will improve things.<br /><br />My uncle went back home for a little while, and I had to go pick him up on what would have been my mother's birthday, so we went to the cemetery to pay everyone over there a visit. I left some flowers (and don't ask me where I got them) and I also went to see a kid who I've been kind of visiting since the 1980s. [He was born in '79 but died in '87, and he used to be in a crypt on the other side of my family's crypt wall until a new crypt was built in 2008. Unfortunately for his family, I found out why he was moved. He apparently had a sister born in '78 who died in '08, and I feel very sorry for them because they've now lost both kids.] And since my daughter was with us, she got to visit with her Gram-Gram and everyone else who departed before she was born. I then decided to go look at some crypts that are in the sides of hills there and fell on my butt running up to look in one (forgetting that I wouldn't be able to see squat, since it's mostly in the ground). I finally got to see what some of the family mausoleums look like, and I think people who buy them today are getting ripped off a little, because the old ones can hold up to eight people (even though the ones I could see into weren't full), and the ones I've seen online only hold six, but are much larger buildings. <br /><br />What? The goth in me has always been fascinated by cemeteries, so this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I went looking for interesting things in a historic cemetery.<br /><br />Anyway, I've been working on my Master's thesis bibliographies lately and I'm trying to get that done tonight before my meeting with my committee chair. I'm a little afraid for this meeting because, for our previous meetings, I had to turn in my bibliographies a week in advance. This time, she didn't assign that expectation, and I'm still trying to cobble one together. Except that I'm supposed to turn in <span style="font-style:italic;">two</span> of those things this time around. It's been a challenge because a) My thesis has shifted from looking at sound and emotive effects in manga to studying online forums (and I'm not thrilled about this at all) and b) I've not been sleeping well, and this is affecting my performance and ability to work.<br /><br />It also doesn't help that I gave a mini-presentation on my work Friday and had the attendees tell me that I need to find a way to bring the thesis back to what I really want to do, and since my chair wasn't there to hear this, I'm worried about the fact that what happened there has gotten back to her somehow. Great.<br /><br />Anyway, I've got to get back to my research. I just wanted to stop in and say hi, and I've also got to remind myself to not get into it with a certain webcomic writer because it's a battle with no point. I made a comment on Twitter about how I was sick of reading said artist's posts about this artist's love for a certain brand of technology and it turned into a mini-war of sorts between the artist and myself. And when I had calmed down enough to try and explain my position, said artist blew me off as if it was stupid of me to think what this person said was in any way arrogant or insulting. Honestly, I've had better debates with inanimate objects than this. All I should have done was stop reading the webcomic, which I only tolerated because of moments of brilliant hilarity, but those brief moments just aren't worth it anymore. That, and because I have to keep visiting said comic's Twitter page to see the responses to me, because I never receive them (since I do not follow this person), I've wasted way too much time when I know I won't get in the last word, and I'm running the risk of getting flamed by this artist's followers. I'd prefer to work on getting to the PhD phase of my studies than engage in this kind of conversation, so thanks but no thanks.<br /><br />Hopefully, I'll get some sleep tonight before my office hours begin. I'd rather not be up all night doing this bibliography work. Goodnight, everyone.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-67849871673254801922010-02-17T23:38:00.005-05:002010-02-18T00:02:57.673-05:00News and WhatnotHi everyone,<br /><br />I have been very, <span style="font-style:italic;">very</span> busy lately, and this includes the announcement that I wanted to make that I alluded to on Twitter.<br /><br />I am teaching 29 students, and last Wednesday was hell! They watched Tim Wise's film "On White Privilege" on Monday, and half of the class was offended by what he had to say, and the other half of the class was offended by the statements from the <span style="font-style:italic;">first</span> half. Let's just say, when I came home that day and said "I want a cigarette," I wasn't kidding. That was stressful.<br /><br />Sticking to more positive news, I have an announcement: I am officially a PhD student <span style="font-weight:bold;">pending</span> the completion of my Master's Thesis. What that means is: If I can get my shit together and finish my thesis, I can actually call myself a PhD student, instead of the generic "grad student" label I tend to use now. Am I excited? I should be, but it's hard to celebrate when your childhood home was almost sold out from under you by your aunt in collusion with my father-in-law (and the sale was only halted because my husband told my f-i-l that as heir to half of my mother's part of the house, I refused to sell).<br /><br />I'm supposed to do a term paper for my graduate school class, I need to make significant progress on my thesis paper, and I have to get through teaching my course without murdering any of my students (which is harder on some days than others). I'm hella stressed because my husband has no job, didn't qualify for unemployment, and spent 1 1/2 months lying about it. The saga continues, so instead of boring everyone with the continuous exploits of my douchebag f-i-l, raging bitch of an aunt, or the genuine sorrow I feel about everything else, I'm going to just cap this with some much-anticipated pictures.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGSvSe-fxMuue6TpZxlcAcHhcjVcMPwviLxnR3ao4wpu_ff3RTylt0UaCgzQ9LrdU503NZcKCKafFo92XSUUNjyrWVwsLiAznMGnyO6eWpZLQImfrahNH7uJiMp8Q7qg8eb18CPmR-FCA/s1600-h/scan0013a.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 236px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGSvSe-fxMuue6TpZxlcAcHhcjVcMPwviLxnR3ao4wpu_ff3RTylt0UaCgzQ9LrdU503NZcKCKafFo92XSUUNjyrWVwsLiAznMGnyO6eWpZLQImfrahNH7uJiMp8Q7qg8eb18CPmR-FCA/s320/scan0013a.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439443579148383826" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbs9Yyt5L-_s1Vf6S5XCcRyUazq7NpwnYahktpKHiPGaAqmMg-eaaUkOgSmmnM2naga61WGieYgcAUm_sUYsK2DzNHEf4qWF_hNPE_llAgnxTf4-br9vRDqzEnVwQOcGmw0Y-R1cwVGug/s1600-h/scan0009a.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbs9Yyt5L-_s1Vf6S5XCcRyUazq7NpwnYahktpKHiPGaAqmMg-eaaUkOgSmmnM2naga61WGieYgcAUm_sUYsK2DzNHEf4qWF_hNPE_llAgnxTf4-br9vRDqzEnVwQOcGmw0Y-R1cwVGug/s320/scan0009a.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439443580444232978" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZ6MZzBKS6d3U4_6-Y7nYxVieqkh26pSsXmknAoX2Cl6RxhFKsGOYwjw1K4rCAXFaZVx9swbyypr52xQzFXKS7ULM3_4tHkUuemDqM2UC0XLTlhmbBGk2RVGp5HMk1qk1VdCWcW3cpgM/s1600-h/scan0008a.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 234px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVZ6MZzBKS6d3U4_6-Y7nYxVieqkh26pSsXmknAoX2Cl6RxhFKsGOYwjw1K4rCAXFaZVx9swbyypr52xQzFXKS7ULM3_4tHkUuemDqM2UC0XLTlhmbBGk2RVGp5HMk1qk1VdCWcW3cpgM/s320/scan0008a.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439443574311694434" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKEe3JbHXHoaeQMcniNH57RUKjRwtjlbvg-3SBNqkjHTWN1yDBnxgIC0kXFf3DsCjhvSqXMxOmUCjB72CxTtT_Fm99KaUugGRFCAHuYqqaH9XtXT15YgBhTvy-QZ5LFmCNOdSrzWdrFss/s1600-h/scan0002a.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 231px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKEe3JbHXHoaeQMcniNH57RUKjRwtjlbvg-3SBNqkjHTWN1yDBnxgIC0kXFf3DsCjhvSqXMxOmUCjB72CxTtT_Fm99KaUugGRFCAHuYqqaH9XtXT15YgBhTvy-QZ5LFmCNOdSrzWdrFss/s320/scan0002a.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439442793088783490" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqk0IQ22DNRi12lFoj7_dpJ39491upoHSNRn3X-eLzBeglKm47xB_aTBuE0wl6qkRsM_hSedE5Bwo3DWlD3jJR_O038dzkkgfNHGMJ13aOYKhCXWSoaQPDBS2frbiW0z-BGaQ6uBKUOI/s1600-h/scan0022.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqk0IQ22DNRi12lFoj7_dpJ39491upoHSNRn3X-eLzBeglKm47xB_aTBuE0wl6qkRsM_hSedE5Bwo3DWlD3jJR_O038dzkkgfNHGMJ13aOYKhCXWSoaQPDBS2frbiW0z-BGaQ6uBKUOI/s320/scan0022.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439442786137649458" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrvtjwsGe5YnkQZioklQsNRUc-lZLzuTZ_v8duEuai4ZwGwJnObkShbFCVhSKdRF2GPJ5b0uYesBneqXolPD_F6s1fIUaugUz2qtKrDV5z_dkGb9xGIEMpWlFNTjHRvxU_LffzIoONZjg/s1600-h/scan0018.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 230px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrvtjwsGe5YnkQZioklQsNRUc-lZLzuTZ_v8duEuai4ZwGwJnObkShbFCVhSKdRF2GPJ5b0uYesBneqXolPD_F6s1fIUaugUz2qtKrDV5z_dkGb9xGIEMpWlFNTjHRvxU_LffzIoONZjg/s320/scan0018.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439442783408378578" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJXetlRPjsdzX-m6yxdTgaf8ABFVvnd9Jtr0VjfLFRPUuBPACE3z2Y5_JKwoyqOncYvZmXBuj5cThLKH629HYmhjiZyjnrS4YEl45r-9EbkCOkr0QLWhb2VFXy45v9Nyrz74mECxri_mo/s1600-h/scan0014.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 260px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJXetlRPjsdzX-m6yxdTgaf8ABFVvnd9Jtr0VjfLFRPUuBPACE3z2Y5_JKwoyqOncYvZmXBuj5cThLKH629HYmhjiZyjnrS4YEl45r-9EbkCOkr0QLWhb2VFXy45v9Nyrz74mECxri_mo/s320/scan0014.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439442775953446658" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimOvkJFvMe3xTV8KL7H4fmCvLATt6PZqbYgEF0_DrPyrQhE8KJ22DUfYjJqrZ1AkRn1Qy5DBNYCUZ9J4rHqbUMTMlYOtWA-Cx-aytGdIEO95SIOMZQpNhvY9XSGMAfCn4e5TkOQOdUk6A/s1600-h/scan0006.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimOvkJFvMe3xTV8KL7H4fmCvLATt6PZqbYgEF0_DrPyrQhE8KJ22DUfYjJqrZ1AkRn1Qy5DBNYCUZ9J4rHqbUMTMlYOtWA-Cx-aytGdIEO95SIOMZQpNhvY9XSGMAfCn4e5TkOQOdUk6A/s320/scan0006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439442772919824882" /></a>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-76716129699385428372010-01-06T21:49:00.003-05:002010-01-06T23:01:05.897-05:00Happy New Year (And All That Remains)Hi everyone,<br /><br />Before I get into the follow-up to my...ordeal, I just wanted to get the pleasantries out of the way. Happy New Year, everyone.<br /><br />*********************************<br /><br />The funeral for my mother did something that made me re-think some things, and reconfirmed others. All my mother wanted in life was for God to come through for her, and to know that she was loved. The religious headmaster of my old high school called the funeral home to find out if I could use some help in paying for the funeral. When I said that I could, he told me he'd call back after making some calls. He then called back an hour later to say "I just got $3,000 together, and if you need more, you have my number." I was dumbstruck. My little church got $1,400 together and some of the members were going to make sure that my mother had a nice funeral no matter what (which made my husband cry!). Fortunately, my high school's donation covered the bulk of the expenses, but I was truly touched by the support we received. People gave money not just for me, but because of how wonderful my mother was. In that way, I think God came through (despite my aunt trying to sabotage things and saying, callously, "You should have just gone ahead and cremated her"). At the service, all of her childhood friends came.<br /><br />All of them. <br /><br />Most of these ladies are rather flighty women (two each had daughters my age, but one died when her mother wouldn't donate a kidney) who couldn't come by to see my mother when she was still alive, but at least they came to see her (well, nobody got to see her on Monday (12/28) because my uncle and I elected to close the casket for the service because, as far as I am concerned, if they couldn't come to see her when she was alive, they won't be allowed to see her when she's dead). <br /><br />My uncle and I stayed with the body through the entire viewing on Sunday (12/27) to make sure the funeral home wouldn't close early like they did with my grandmother two years ago (As today is the 2 year anniversary of her death, I'm really keyed up right now). My aunt screwed up a lot of things. She lied and didn't call the hairdresser, so she did it herself with her poor daughter in tow (and did a bad job). She got Quintessa (say it with the neck roll to get it right) to give us shit about the money, threatening to hold my mother's body hostage if she didn't get it all by 10 a.m. She lost the tie that went to the blouse and got the funeral home to violate their own rules by not allowing me to get the first view of the body. Crayzee brought the clothes late, promised to get flowers that ended up being plastic (and, therefore, couldn't be left at the cemetery) and were probably free, and didn't bring the guest book until after church service was long since over (the church my family belongs to is across the street). If it weren't for her having a child, I'd never speak to her again.<br /><br />Except for the eulogy which included such gems of "...until you find your sister dead at home" (Thanks, McNugget*), the service went over well. There was a bit of comedy (for me anyway) when people were reading the proclamations. These are these stupid things that people put together to say how great you were in life, and it makes the group look important, blah blah blah. Anyway, the contingent in California sent an e-mail to have read at the service and my aunt read it. She was reading it in this really weird, trying-to-be-dramatic-but-instead-sounding-insane kind of way, and I started laughing. My sister (the one I stopped talking to, but I have no idea why anymore) thought I was crying. Oh no; I thought it was funny! One of her best guy friends sang a beautiful solo, and I was proud of him for making it through it.<br />(*McNugget is what I've been calling this pastor since he started at the church back in 1990 & he only got to do the service because he was feeling guilty and offered to do it for free, or I would have gotten someone else)<br /><br />What I saw was a hell of a lot of remorse from people who couldn't' give a damn before this happened. People actually felt bad, and all I kept thinking was "Good! You need to feel bad!". Most of the people in the mortuary industry were very kind and accommodating. Everyone except Quintessa *neck roll*, who was a bully, who didn't tell me I could e-mail the program to the printer (and tried to charge me the rush fee for turning it in late), and screwed things up for the repast. We drove out to the cemetery to do the final goodbyes (my mother was born in a blizzard, and was buried in one) and my uncle had asked people to stay for the food. Unfortunately, a lot of people <span style="font-style:italic;">left</span> because that bitch couldn't do anything right. My poor uncle and my husband were both apologizing to the people who made the food. My uncle said "I asked people to stay, and they all left me". Fortunately, my mother's friends (who were apparently hanging out in the ladies lounge upstairs) came down and we had a good number of people at the meal. It made me feel good that they stayed. My dad and my sister (3 of 7 if you're keeping track) ate with us, and I have to say my sister has really mellowed the fuck out. She's a wrestler now, and that seems to be a good thing for her. She finally found her passion, and until it pays the bills she still nurses full time (she's not licensed, but after taking care of her own mother for years before her passing, she's got a lot of experience and doesn't do things that would get her in an ass-ton of trouble). She's still a little greedy with the posting of gift lists on her MySpace page, but we reconnected in a way I didn't expect.<br /><br />Of all the things that did go wrong, the worst was that my older brother didn't make it to the funeral. He wanted to be there, and before he started hanging out with his "friends" he would've moved heaven and earth to be there. Instead, they promised him a ride and probably fell through and told him not to bother. Assholes. He's gone bankrupt buying these losers drinks at the bar, and he stopped coming by to visit them because of these people (who had better not run into me in a dark alley because I'm out for blood), and he failed to call the week she died. I think my mother would have listened to him if he had visited her, but he kept saying he couldn't make it and that he was coming. I haven't tried to contact him since because I don't know what to say to him.<br /><br />I invited my uncle to stay with us for awhile, but I'm not sure he will. I just want to make sure he's taken care of, and that he knows he did everything right by my mother. He shouldn't feel guilty about anything he did. I cant' say the same for others, but he did right by her. And all those people who turned their backs on them are feeling bad and trying to make things right. Like the woman who was bringing them food but being nasty about it. She would buy the food at Sav-A-Lot and wouldn't get them enough to live on, and according to my uncle, all my mother wanted was to have a house filled with food. Well, now he has a house overflowing with food from Dave's grocery store, with enough food to feed a family of four for two months. Why the fuck she couldn't do this while my mother was alive, I'll never know.<br /><br />I'm supposed to send thank you cards to people who came to the service, and I'm taking the money that people gave me and putting it away for an emergency fund. One of my closest girlfriends gave me $300, and when I tried to give it back to her because things were paid for, she wouldn't let me return it. She said that she would be lost if it were her mother, and she wanted to help us out. I want to put the money away so that I may be able to help someone else in the way we were helped.<br /><br />I don't really want to do the letters, but I'm going to get them done before depositing the checks (I don't want to be tacky). My uncle's faith never wavered. Not to say he's like Job, but when everyone turned their backs, he never turned away from God. Hell, I cussed God out and chronicled it here (my last venomous lick to God when my mother died was to say "Fuck you, God"), but he never did. I always thought I'd learn the most about faith from my mother, but I think they both taught me a great deal. <br /><br />With the loss of my grandmother, my faith was shaken. With the loss of my mother (and the beautiful outpouring of support), I think it may have been restored.<br /><br />I've got to get back into the swing of things. I'm teaching a class of ~29 students due to the university being in a crisis without admitting to it (way to go, Gee). Instead of offering 4 or 5 100-level courses and a number of 300-level courses, we're offering 6 100-level courses and one or two 300-level courses, and all the 100s are pushed beyond the usual cap of 25. We're doing this because it's a way for the department to get $, but it's a load of crap. I've gone from not teaching anyone to teaching a ton of kids with the blank stares back at me. Fun. I just wish I knew this material better than I do; then I'd feel more confident in teaching it to a bunch of underclassmen. It's hard to teach Juniors and Seniors because they're set in their ways and aren't usually receptive to new ideas. I'm also trying to write my thesis, take a class, and scramble to get 3 credit hours to comply with my contract because my thesis seminar has been canceled. Of the six of us working on our thesis, only two of us signed up for the class, and the other person dropped out. <span style="font-style:italic;">Merde</span>! I don't know how I'm doing what I'm doing, but I just can't stop for anything.<br /><br />There is one other thing; I have resolved that I have to try at least once to be a singer. An actual, bona fide recording artist. My mother had a beautiful voice but never really got to be a soloist (the church choir had its clique), and I think a little bit of her sound is still in me and I want people to hear it. I've got to at least try.<br /><br />I just wanted to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support during this difficult time. I also want to thank the people at the Plain Dealer, the printer of the programs, and most of all Loretta from Lake View cemetery for being more than accommodating to our situation and showing the utmost in compassion. I'd also like to thank my aunt for being a bitch to remind me of the kind of fool she is, and my father in law for being an unbelievable bastard who lied and schemed and did some non-lawyerly things because he "showed his ass" in front of his son, making my husband realize that he can't let his father get away with being a dick. I'd also like to thank Quintessa *neck roll* for being an unruly tyrant who, in her own way, managed to make a miracle happen. I'd like to thank those who turned their backs for the guilt they are feeling because they need to learn to act like human beings. I want to thank my uncle for all the hell he's gone through, and for being there for my mom. I want to thank my grandmother for being the strong role model for me. And I'd like to thank my mother, because I never got a chance to do so. I love you mom.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-69915870045196769142009-12-27T22:44:00.004-05:002009-12-28T01:01:31.881-05:00Unexpected LessonsHi everyone.<br /><br />It's been awhile, and I wish I had something more happy to post, but my mother passed away on Tuesday, and I've been dealing with the loss. I've also learned a great deal during this time, and I think I'm going to write about that for awhile.<br /><br />For anyone who remembers the saga with Aunt Crayzee, you'll recall that she turned her back on my mom and uncle and managed to poison the waters so that almost nobody wanted to help them. Well, that contributed greatly to my mother's death. She died while my uncle was away, and he says the last thing she said to him was "Nobody ever stops by". She felt so abandoned and alone and was severely depressed towards the end, and when people would come by, they would be nasty, hurtful, and not willing to offer the least bit of help. She apparently wrote a letter to someone right before Thanksgiving asking for food because they were starving, and in it she wrote that she wanted them to be able to have a little bit of fun. She never asked for much in life, and towards the end she couldn't even get that. I came to see them as often as I could, and I would buy groceries and give them money. It wasn't enough. Now we get all these people coming out of the woodwork who claim to have loved her, but they wouldn't visit with her, or give her a kind word. The church that refused to help them pay a single bill (and refused to give them food!) has offered their space for the service, and I only agreed to it because I was trying to cut down on the funeral costs. <br /><br />My uncle is hurting, and my aunt can't seem to give a shit. She has been a saboteur from the beginning, wanting them to fail and wanting <span style="font-style:italic;">us</span> to fail in this funeral. The joke's on her; my church raised funds and will be helping to pay for the funeral, and my high school's headmaster called me up to say he's raised $3,000 and that I can call if we're still short. One of my girlfriends that I haven't spoken to since my baby shower even offered $300. My church is not a church of great means, whereas the church that they belong to is a historical African American church that is full of gossipers who are soulless, despicable people who would rather listen to someone who is no longer a member (who I am convinced is filled with venom; she's pure evil) than help those who need it. She is going to find a way to take credit for this when she did nothing. She deliberately waited until after church service was over to bring over the guest book, so that the people who visited were not recorded in the book because she didn't bring it. She also lied and said she would contact people she never called (like the hairdresser; she did the hair herself, which is why we're closing the casket for the wake and service). The "flowers" she promised her church would pay for are fake...and since her best friend's family makes those things for a living, so she probably paid nothing for them. It was just one stinking thing of flowers that she had placed on the casket. I hate her.<br /><br />I hate everything she has done. She had the <span style="font-style:italic;">audacity</span> to tell my husband (when he was telling her to keep trying to help find funds) that I should have just cremated her! I PAID for the bulk of her own mother's funeral, and it was my support system that is paying for my mother's funeral, and she has gotten away with ruining lives and not paying a dime. When I hear that people feel bad that they didn't visit, I always think "Good! You need to feel guilty." All my mother wanted was for God to come through for her, and for her to be loved. I want her to know that she is loved very much. <br /><br />This is so hard to write.<br /><br />I have invited my uncle to stay with us for awhile. I want him to be able to rebuild his life and heal away from a house where two of his loved ones have died. I am not sure when he will come, or if, but I don't want to go through this again. I want to know he's going to be alright because it's true what he said: It's not fair that people treat them like shit, treat them like they're worthless, as if they were the worst people in the world when all they were trying to do was <span style="font-style:italic;">survive</span>. They were trying to live. And now she's dead, and I don't want him to be next.<br /><br />What do I want for my aunt? For her to suffer. For her to feel humiliated, feel pain, to struggle. To not know where the next meal is going to come from. I want the worst for her, save only one thing: I don't want her to die. I want her to live with the consequences of what she has done. I want her to PAY.<br /><br />I'm also angry with my father-in-law because he decided, on the day my mother's obituary was running in the Plain Dealer, to call her and my uncle "fucking irresponsible" for not doing what <span style="font-style:italic;">he</span> thinks they were supposed to do with probate. Here are a few fun facts that he's completely forgotten about. 1) My husband and I hired him to help them, so if any money is owed, it would be from us and not them. 2) He told them that he was doing this for them because "we're family", and then treated them like they were idiotic pieces of shit because he was making side deals with my aunt, lapping up everything she served him. 3) He made my mother sign papers that he didn't explain. 4) He came over, while on the phone with my husband, pretending that he was giving them food when instead he dropped off a nasty letter saying that, essentially, my uncle had virtually no claim to the home. 5) He treats people like shit and has the nerve to be upset because they don't turn around and thank him for his service. I'm never asking him to do a damn thing for me again.<br /><br />Since the title of my blog suggests that I learned something, let's review what I've learned in all of this.<br /><br />- I want to be cremated. Fuck all of this shit with the funeral home (they demand payment upfront before services can be rendered; however, the newspaper, the printer of the service bulletins, and the people at the cemetery were more than willing to accommodate our situation of not having the money yet but that it was coming, or of lowering prices or not charging extra fees). If my loved ones want a service for me, fine, but I'd rather spare them the expense. My husband is willing to give me a service that observes Japanese rituals, but that's about all I want. He wants to donate his body to science.<br /><br />- My mother was a wonderful woman who never deserved to die alone. I hope beyond everything that she is happy now.<br /><br />- I apparently have a hell of a lot more friends than I could have possibly imagined.<br /><br />- Know who to trust, and who to leave in the...bin (I wanted to say dust, but I do not want to offend my friend for the sake of a rhyme scheme).<br /><br />- I apparently had more faith than I thought. When my grandmother died, I lost my faith. I think with my mother's death, I found it. I still told God off, but whatever.<br /><br />- I will do right by the people who did right by me. And the others need to watch out. I'm full of anger and will release it on the first person to say the wrong thing tomorrow.<br /><br />- There are some nasty people out there in the world, and they get away with a lot. If there's any justice in the world, they won't get away with it forever.<br /><br />- I have the will to pull through this, and I want my mother to be remembered for who she was. And I want all of those people who said they care but didn't give a damn to know that her death rests on all of their shoulders. Live with that forever.<br /><br />I signed all the paperwork, but the funeral home violated their own policies by allowing my aunt to take my place for the first viewing. She also dropped off the flowers and the book and never came back. My uncle and I stayed with her until they closed the home at 5. A few visitors came by and my little girl got to see her Gram-Gram one last time.<br /><br />I've also learned that I have a mean streak that runs deeper than even I imagined, but I think these people have earned it. And if the money my aunt got the home church to donate is not given to the funeral home, my husband is going to call the church in a week to let them know that she had no expenses and that she should have to give the money back.<br /><br />I never said I was a good girl.<br /><br />The funeral is tomorrow afternoon, and I hope that her siblings from California come, but something tells me they won't.<br /><br />There's only one crypt left of the six my grandmother bought. It's going to be for my uncle, because I'm cremating my aunt when she goes, so she'd better not go soon. <br /><br />I may change my mind on a lot of things in time. But I won't change my opinions on those who hurt my family. I may just ease up on them in time (maybe). I've got to get some sleep to get through tomorrow. If things go poorly...well, let's just say you'll be hearing about me on the news.<br /><br />I love you, mom. Never doubt that.<br /><br />Her obituary is <a href="http://obits.cleveland.com/obituaries/cleveland/obituary.aspx?n=marva-kay-clopton&pid=137808295">here</a>.<br /><br />EDIT: Okay, so now I'm feeling guilty about the things I said about my aunt (1.5 hours later). A little. I'm still angry, but she's still family. However, she needs to redeem herself to make this right.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-50662861965293421542009-12-16T20:20:00.002-05:002009-12-16T20:38:59.763-05:00Short UpdateHi everyone,<br /><br />I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but things have been very busy lately. Now that I'm on winter break, I'm taking the time to get caught up on my Master's Thesis work as well as creating a syllabus for my class next quarter (like I know what the hell I'm doing).<br /><br />Anyway, here's what's been going on (in case you haven't been following me on <a href="http://twitter.com/SailorAlphaC">Twitter</a>):<br /><br />- I managed to get through teaching my first classes without too much trouble. I had some problems with students not working well together in their groups (and a couple of extra credit assignments that drove me crazy [one person wrote "colored" at least 14 times in his paper about his family's views on race, and the other insulted the poor and people of color while railing for people to eat better so that they don't need organ donors...not exactly the best way to sell people on <span style="font-style:italic;">being</span> organ donors]) but everything worked out in the end. Only one student had to take the final (out of 45 total students) and everyone got an A.<br /><br />- My husband's job situation went from bad to worse. HR refused to pay him and when they laid off the majority of the design department, he was the only person not to get paid. After smashing the HR person's family photo against a wall (bad idea, I know), we filed the case with OSHA. I'm going to have him call to do a follow-up with the federal branch tomorrow, and that branch is supposed to force the regional branch to get to work, so we'll see how this goes. At least now he qualifies for unemployment, so we'll finally have some $ coming in for the first time in months. My pay is not enough for just one person to live on, let alone three, so this is help we needed.<br /><br />- I got sick during finals week last week, and I'm still on the mend. Since I won't gross anyone out with details, let's just say this was serious when the people at the Student Health center booked the appointment for 30 minutes from when I made the call, instead of for the next day.<br /><br />- We've gotten Christmas photos done & I will be scanning and posting them soon. What pissed me off, however, was the fact that the girl who was helping our photographer (who was doing her first day of sales) kept trying to do a hard-sell with us that almost resulted in us not getting <span style="font-style:italic;">any</span> photos. The girl who normally does our photos had a death in the family, so they had two people in as replacements. One who had been a photographer for years but had never worked on sales for the company until that day, and the other was a hard-assed bitch who kept trying to sell us $200 and $300 packages. We barely had enough gas to get to the damn session, and we weren't trying to spend more than $50, so when she kept coming back into the room to change what we were ordering from 5 sheets to 9 so we qualified for some stupid package or another, I was about to lose it. I had to fight for a montage photo I wanted, because it was the only way we were going to get some of the shots, but when the girl came in and said a montage photo was extra (which wasn't the way they did packages in the past), that was when I finally got upset. We got the photos we wanted, but to add insult to injury, a bulk of the images were thrown away. Usually, they make all of the images from the shoot available online, and there were some that I could have gotten my m-i-l to order, but Bitch-Ass probably only kept the ones we ordered photos from. If our regular girl doesn't come back, I'm taking my business elsewhere.<br /><br />Anyway, I have a syllabus to write, a house to clean, and a headache to get rid of. I wish I felt better about writing a syllabus, but all the help I've gotten so far is to look at what others have done in the past. Unfortunately, people don't say what they <span style="font-style:italic;">taught</span> in their syllabus; just what books they covered. I'll figure out something.<br /><br />Happy Trails, Happy Holidays, and all that good stuff.<br />~ KaySailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-7083718531992295732009-10-02T00:25:00.002-05:002009-10-02T00:33:00.534-05:00Better Late Than NeverI've been saying I was going to do this for awhile, but I finally got it done. <br /><br />Devi's first birthday party photos are finally online!<br /><br />We had a wonderful party on September 4th with a lot of friends and family (including my mom, my uncle, and her godfather), and a lot of the photos are of her adventures in cake-eating. I got to make a cake for the first time in years and was happy to see that I had no leftovers that day.<br /><br />Anyway, Devi ended up eating the icing off the cake because she was more interested in eating the cake than smashing it. However, my uncle comes in to help her finish it off when she almost sat on the piece!<br /><br />I can't believe I've been doing this parenting thing for 12+ months, and while my uncle (and others) seems to think I'm doing a good job, I think I'm doing okay.<br /><br />Enjoy the show!<br /><br /><div style="width:480px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w5.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http://w5.photobucket.com/albums/y155/SlrAlphC/FirstBirthday/c179da6c.pbw" height="360" width="480"><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a><a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y155/SlrAlphC/FirstBirthday/?action=view¤t=c179da6c.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a></embed></div>SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-13332363554459985762009-10-01T15:23:00.007-05:002009-10-02T00:25:46.652-05:00That Went Better Than I ThoughtHi everyone!<br /><br />I had my actual first day of teaching today, and despite the fact that I was late for my 9:30 section due to parking issues (OSU is a little too greedy for money and sells too many parking passes and park-n-pays, but I digress), I think it went well. Or as well as can be expected. I didn't get the problem students, nor did I get the special needs student (who is a very nice person, but people were laughing at his idiosyncrasies on Friday, which had me worried...but I think he's going to be okay), but I also got through my agenda rather quickly. I didn't anticipate being done <span style="font-style:italic;">before</span> the end of the session (classes are 48 minutes long), but they're good kids. I worry that they may have thought I was being a bit strict when I asked them to set the "respect" guidelines for the class, but I feel that it's important to have these guidelines in place because we will be covering controversial topics and I'd rather head these issues off at the pass. <br /><br />I'm still not sure I'm cut out for this teaching thing, but I hope to be able to do a good job for my students, and that the evaluations won't be too damning.<br /><br />I'm not posting a picture of Devi (who has a cold right now; poor thing), because I have a special post coming up.<br /><br />Have a good one, folks!SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-42835067188940880092009-09-22T21:47:00.003-05:002009-09-22T22:05:44.071-05:00Tomorrow, I Teach!Yeah, I'm not kidding. Nor am I excited.<br /><br />I am a Graduate Teaching Associate and I am teaching two recitation sections (these classes are made up of students who are taking a lecture course; the recitation TAs go over materials with the smaller groups), and I'm doing it because I'm in a department where they use all of us grad students as labor. I also will be teaching my own class in three months...so, yay?<br /><br />It's not that I hate teachers; I think teachers are some of the most wonderful people in the world, and I come from a family of teachers, but I don't have the patience to deal with people anymore. The idea of trying to talk to a group of students about controversial topics that <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> don't even talk about amongst friends is giving me fits. I have my first TA meeting tomorrow, and I'm hoping to come up with some good ideas for what I will do with my two sections.<br /><br />It also doesn't help that I'm not a morning person, and I am teaching at 9:30 and 10:30 in the morning. Try to seem excited <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> early in the morning.<br /><br />I had wanted to post pictures on Devi's birthday, but I didn't get a chance to put new ones on my computer yet, so my next post will include pictures of Devi's first birthday party (yay!). So, here's a reprisal of what she looked like last year. Take care, everyone!<br /><br /><div style="width:600px; text-align: center;"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://w5.photobucket.com/pbwidget.swf?pbwurl=http://w5.photobucket.com/albums/y155/SlrAlphC/BabyPhotos/2aa2d124.pbw" height="180" width="600"><a href="http://photobucket.com/slideshows" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a><a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y155/SlrAlphC/BabyPhotos/?action=view¤t=2aa2d124.pbw" target="_blank"><img src="http://pic.photobucket.com/slideshows/btn_viewallimages.gif" style="float:left;border-width: 0;" ></a></embed></div><br /><br />I can't believe she used to be this small! People are right; they <span style="font-weight:bold;">do</span> grow up fast.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-8786609357133656842009-09-04T15:32:00.003-05:002009-09-04T15:36:47.873-05:00Guess What Today Is!It's Devi's first birthday (yay!!!)! She's turning one and I'm still trying to run around and get everything together for the party that will be starting soon. I hope it goes well.<br /><br />Since I'm in a hurry (and suffering from a bad sinus infection), I will have to add photos to this post later this evening. I'll also have to fill you in on the ordeal of the whole thing.<br /><br />Love you all!<br />~ Kay<br /><br />P.S. I wanted to send a special thank you to Uncle <a href="http://daviddust.blogspot.com/">David Dust</a> who hooked me up with a "Peace, Bitch!" button. I only got it yesterday because I haven't been on campus since July, but I am looking forward to wearing it when I teach and waiting for my students to ask what it means. :-)SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-1022305454001816432009-08-25T01:39:00.004-05:002009-08-26T20:31:23.120-05:00Clearing out the TumbleweedsThis is getting ridiculous, but it's been a busy summer since my last post. My husband quit his job at Target and got a 1 month unpaid internship at an ironworks company that he is hoping will turn into a real job (he's always wanted to walk into the place and ask for a job, and a few weeks ago he did just that). However, he ended up in a car accident while on a work assignment on the 14th and we may have to go to court to get the damages on our car paid for (the other driver drove over the double yellow lines to try to pass him on the left as he sat there waiting to make a left-hand turn; but the only evidence we may have is the video footage from that day that we'll have to subpoena for small-claims court).<br /><br />Also, I've been working on my reading list, but since my department takes the whole freakin' summer <span style="font-style:italic;">off</span>, I haven't had any guidance in getting this completed outside of my uncle's suggestions. I'm going to send out some e-mails in the hope of getting projects set up for the fall so that I'm doing 10 hours of independent research instead of 10 hours of coursework when I have to teach. But at least I started correspondence with someone working in the field of Japanese manga studies...now if I would just write back to him, that would be good (I'm such a coward).<br /><br />Anyway, the big news is my little girl will be turning one on September 4th and we're (read: I) trying to plan a party (or three, however this is going to work) for her. It's multiple because my mother-in-law is too ill to travel (she had had a minor heart attack in the spring) and so we're going to do something with her and my father-in-law this weekend, and a party down here with my family and friends (maybe) on her actual birthday. However, that seems to be falling apart. I tried to contact two of my friends to invite them for the party, but I haven't heard back, and with my mom and uncle they didn't respond to the text I sent them, so I'm going to have to write them an actual letter and arrange for them to be driven down and put up in a hotel (because we no longer have the space to host guests) for a few days. I want Devi's first birthday to be special, and I worry that it will just be a mess. But as I told a woman selling her Christian motivational book (that I bought for my mom), I know I'll get through this but I just worry about everyone else.<br /><br />I need to go through my pictures so that I can find some good ones of Devi, who currently has 4 teeth, is getting pretty good at eating solids, and actually likes having her teeth brushed. Until I have more time (or finally set up that stupid new computer that I said I was going to do months ago), these photos will have to do.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM5htZf9lzAE56H00_VbnsQHPHjzxa4NvboiXa_9khd1S0L85QEWLrD2A6ZuUs7fQk4vOewyybj2IZ6ho8_j_kN57aNyrN175IVx5eISlPdZP7_bUoP2f0bLnUM6xRiDD0MPhshbRdFIs/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0626.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM5htZf9lzAE56H00_VbnsQHPHjzxa4NvboiXa_9khd1S0L85QEWLrD2A6ZuUs7fQk4vOewyybj2IZ6ho8_j_kN57aNyrN175IVx5eISlPdZP7_bUoP2f0bLnUM6xRiDD0MPhshbRdFIs/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0626.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374449520882282018" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5uWPqn1pj79i5j1mfGjkFXGFLGGPgwRucGwpWi5V9iL3pR2ApYVhXyBCCzckjSAs5jI_WSw7JcIRiSsKuh6ZKA6Vz24ImT9odCnNjXK43H1fN6CgboB-FSHbrDZFDmTrsOdyjfMQIt4Y/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0518.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5uWPqn1pj79i5j1mfGjkFXGFLGGPgwRucGwpWi5V9iL3pR2ApYVhXyBCCzckjSAs5jI_WSw7JcIRiSsKuh6ZKA6Vz24ImT9odCnNjXK43H1fN6CgboB-FSHbrDZFDmTrsOdyjfMQIt4Y/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0518.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374449511569715266" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisKz44n3ZFfxOv-8FnzRDDDkP-OaSHGCA8i2rwPaJ4Gixtu0HCwJ96clr84g7DEXbfmGyhJKBafmF_F1pXQcet0qGLXPQDHyhDJyoeleu2PcQ_9FCD4NbXxZbn9SIR1WDYu16zNXxn-E0/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0294.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisKz44n3ZFfxOv-8FnzRDDDkP-OaSHGCA8i2rwPaJ4Gixtu0HCwJ96clr84g7DEXbfmGyhJKBafmF_F1pXQcet0qGLXPQDHyhDJyoeleu2PcQ_9FCD4NbXxZbn9SIR1WDYu16zNXxn-E0/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0294.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374449506886655426" /></a><br /><br />Later.<br /><br />P.S. I almost, <span style="font-style:italic;">almost</span>, signed up for a Twitter account, but decided that I didn't need my 48th Internet entity that I would eventually abandon.<br />P.P.S. Can you believe <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://beautifulbabies.trb.com/winner/">this</a></span> child beat my baby in the beautiful babies contest? See, this is what happens when a lazy person never forwards the link after registering for the contest.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-59519964884863014132009-07-07T10:29:00.004-05:002009-07-07T13:41:27.297-05:00From the Depths Of Hell (the school kind)Hey everyone! I'm in week 3 of a five-week intensive course this summer, and I have a few minutes to type before I need to let Devi go down for her nap.<br /><br />I had to lead the discussion in class yesterday, and for the first time in grad school, I actually did a full-session (which was only a few minutes of me trying to get the discussion going on the first English version of the story Madame Butterfly (1898)). I didn't get any sleep the night before, because I spent the whole night trying to type up my handwritten notes (because I forgot that he wanted to see them) and coming up with questions that showed that I at least understood part of the texts [there were two articles we had to read as well, one critiquing the narrative and the other discussing hypersexuality in the musical <span style="font-style:italic;">Miss Saigon</span>], but I've got a ways to go if I'm going to come up with questions for students because I just don't know how to pull myself out of a text far enough to be able to ask general questions. I get to those points within the text, but I tend not to see ways to ask questions that are obvious to everyone else. But it was a great teaching exercise (which is why he says he makes grad students do that in his courses) and he said the questions were good (but is <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> good?) so I'm pleased with the results.<br /><br />We've entered Devi in the Beautiful Babies contest hosted by WGN, and I'll add the link to the blog in a day or two. I'm sure we're not going to win because I wasn't happy with the picture we ultimately chose, but her best shots were with other people in them, and we couldn't use those. My husband thinks this picture captured her personality best, and I poured over all the photos I'd taken over the last three months and just wasn't happy with what I found. That, and we avoided any shots that involved eating (because he thought that would be too common), so I'll post the link because people have to vote (great) for the best shots.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm trying to keep the post light because I'm really trying not to worry about all the things that are stressing me out. That, and I do have a question for the parents and adept babysitters out there: How do you get a 10-month-old to stop hitting people? Seriously, she slaps people and scratched my eyelid this morning, so I'm looking for ways to get her to stop. So far, telling her "no hitting" and holding the arm she's hitting with to get her to stop has had some success, but not completely. Any helpful advice is appreciated.<br /><br />And, Devi now has teeth! But every time I try to photograph them, she tries to eat the camera. Like this...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtELKQV1s3anYudrUqcxuGND0sDzkaEZei0ba9eJI07hpjB6zv45626WwZj5WqiRO710Oi_9QKbw-CX-t5QOUzyueQaaO4yoVi4wypjNN1-kTueN9fioWXYsIp29bDGFlNNZr8SUyjMoc/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0642.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtELKQV1s3anYudrUqcxuGND0sDzkaEZei0ba9eJI07hpjB6zv45626WwZj5WqiRO710Oi_9QKbw-CX-t5QOUzyueQaaO4yoVi4wypjNN1-kTueN9fioWXYsIp29bDGFlNNZr8SUyjMoc/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0642.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355745738788792066" /></a><br /><br />Well, I've got to read David Henry Hwong's [Correction: Hwang, not Hwong] "M. Butterfly" and a book chapter critiquing the play today for tomorrow's class, so I've got to go. Here are more pictures of Devi to help pass the time, including one where she and her Pepe got very close to a deer (thanks, honey, for taking that great shot!).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge8dPWHq7NMQ-cYAIZ2qLjk4yX7cD-Hy9i_KOE0o6F48OnfN0G9uyp2JbP_M6BmsCOeIeQF8zQviW33i-WKUVjQDiyB70GAYTnPM28nRi_Y_UVWdwD9H0hyRBucaY3HlwBNOInbaYOc3U/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0639.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge8dPWHq7NMQ-cYAIZ2qLjk4yX7cD-Hy9i_KOE0o6F48OnfN0G9uyp2JbP_M6BmsCOeIeQF8zQviW33i-WKUVjQDiyB70GAYTnPM28nRi_Y_UVWdwD9H0hyRBucaY3HlwBNOInbaYOc3U/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0639.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355745741150333346" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheF308WjZ7llHwxbQJ0eyf8EBKkW4k0-VrqWtDVV9gIYPkzsfGhE6m6AHkFlwDnmag-hRoYR-EpQ4eM69k2pyQVzSSv6QbVH-dN-1LANGDRzZNJrZdM4YgFpIwOL_lBUrOf8mUbOubDsk/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0167.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheF308WjZ7llHwxbQJ0eyf8EBKkW4k0-VrqWtDVV9gIYPkzsfGhE6m6AHkFlwDnmag-hRoYR-EpQ4eM69k2pyQVzSSv6QbVH-dN-1LANGDRzZNJrZdM4YgFpIwOL_lBUrOf8mUbOubDsk/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0167.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355745749728842690" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUYiPoynDhbzd0_jJx-cF1k2Od83Arlvtd4_M5e5JK1kJAotcAKzYm2UKldHFYkGDqlps5jX1oZaFuZ141o1TBtBG3SyH5s0OY3-55sXlRi8f-cS_UfEqA0dVjHgHGvojkrFQImJX7Bmc/s1600-h/2009_0702ChurchnExp0322.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUYiPoynDhbzd0_jJx-cF1k2Od83Arlvtd4_M5e5JK1kJAotcAKzYm2UKldHFYkGDqlps5jX1oZaFuZ141o1TBtBG3SyH5s0OY3-55sXlRi8f-cS_UfEqA0dVjHgHGvojkrFQImJX7Bmc/s320/2009_0702ChurchnExp0322.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355745755414099586" /></a><br /><br />Until I can next post, have a good day everyone.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.com2