Friday, May 29, 2009

I feel so bad...but what can I do?


This is getting to be a very bad habit. Unfortunately, the demands of graduate school and motherhood have kept me away (that, and since my photos of Devi are on my PC and not my laptop, I refuse to post entries unless I can post something of her). Here's a brief 411 of what has been going on, so that I can close this entry out and get to bed.

- My husband lost his health insurance with his job because his average hours last year were too low. He needed to average 32 hours and he only averaged 31.5. This means the only person with any kind of health coverage left I had to carry insurance in school and I'm relying on it for me, and we hope to get her on the government aid soon.

- School is kicking my ass. I'm freaking out that my work isn't good enough, and I'm trying to stave off burn-out as I gear up for the end of the quarter, the beginning of summer classes (eep) and the start of my research for my master's thesis. Oh, and did I mention that I will be teaching undergraduates in the fall? Yep. Anxiety overload.

- I got to perform with The Singing Angels for Mother's Day as part of the alumni chorus, which was fun. However, my father-in-law decided to tell me on that day that he no longer wants to represent my mom and uncle in court (which I can understand) but seemed to think my aunt was some sort of victim in all of this (which pissed me off). After visiting my mom and uncle and bringing them groceries, since my uncle is all skin and bones, my husband is finally in agreement with me on sending them support. I also have some library friends looking into possible tax help to help them keep the house, so fingers crossed on that one.

- We went to Marcon this year and we all had a good time. Devi hung out with the gamers and I got some studying done. I even got to see one of my cohorts who was party crashing the room parties. Unfortunately for Devi, she has been suffering from a cold, and she ended up waking up at 2am in the hotel room where the only comfort that put her back to sleep It seems that my 40% in our 60/40 workload means that I can still be a comfort to my child.

- Last, and certainly not least, my mother-in-law had a minor heart attack on Tuesday. It was 1 a.m. when Life Alert called my husband and let him know that his mother had been transported to the hospital [It may be corny, but "Thank goodness for Life Alert" indeed]. She seems to be doing well, and a camera used to examine her heart showed that it was clear, but we still don't know what brought it on. We hope she'll be home soon.

I am going to try and put myself on a weekly schedule for posting, because I'm already feeling isolated in the live-world (I refuse to say the "real" world because a) online communities are just as real as interactions in the flesh and b) I've been reading too much Lacan and any mention of the real troubles the water) and I hate not posting and getting visitors.

Since I have to hurry up and finish before Devi wakes up, here are some of the Easter photos, as promised (but long overdue). I only had time to crop three of them, so I may end up posting more as time goes on. I love you all and I have missed you, but I won't promise that I have returned since I never know when my next post will come in. Peace out!


David Dust said...

Wow - it seems like you have so much going on. I don't know how you're doing it call and coping.

And my little darling Devi is possibly the cutest baby I have ever seen!!


SailorAlphaCentauri said...

Honey I don't know how to not keep going, so I do everything because I have to!

And Devi is getting into everything! And she's getting very skilled at her mischievous smile, so this is continually getting interesting ;-)

Beth said...

Devi is growing up so fast, and what a BEAUTIFUL girl she is too!

and my heart and prayers are with you and your much going on right now.