It's been a long time, everyone. Sorry for the disappearance again. I've been trying to get my ... act together since finishing my Master's degree and embarking on the PhD. So what has happened since New Year's?
- I managed to get an advisor for my exams.
- I then got sick in early February which took me out for a couple of weeks. Type-G Strep and a sinus infection one on top of the other is not anyone's idea of a good time. Good drugs, though (however, Vicodin is over-rated).
- I lost my advisor by being dropped via e-mail to the head of my department. Since I was (re)doing my Independent Study with this person the next day (because it was not completed last quarter due to illness), I didn't know how I was going to face her. The result: She didn't mention it, and I didn't bring it up. Ultimately, she has now offered to be my third reader when I get to that phase. I'm glad I said "when". I have to believe that I can do this. I've had enough people tell me that I'm smart enough that I'm almost ready to believe it.
- I now have a new advisor, but I have to prove that I will get my exams done. They had to be completed this year (ruh-ro!), so if I can show that I am making great progress, then I can stay.
- My little D is still doing fantastically well! She's well over 3 feet tall (as many feet as she has years), and it's been a fascinating time to see her vocabulary develop. Now if I can get hubby to get back out there and try and find a job, it might help lower my stress.
I wish I could find the time to do this more, but I won't make any promises that I probably won't keep. I will try to put up pictures of her soon. I have some recent ones that we took for the spring, but the disk is downstairs and I don't feel like getting it at 2:30am. I've also got a lot of work to do grading rough drafts of my students' papers. I'm glad this is a holiday weekend, but I've only graded 3 out of 25 and I need all of the extra time that I can get. It's late, and as much fun as it is to get back into writing again (because real life gets a little lonely), I've really got to get some sleep. Goodnight from "the heart of it all."
P.S. I've got to spruce up the place; this blog needs a change of scenery. We'll see what I'll do when I have time.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
Happy 2012! I hope that this year brings the best for everyone.
But before I go, I must say this: 2011 saw the loss of a number of great people. Three elders from my church passed away (Isabelle Bucklew, Bill and Mary Riley), and what makes it painful is because Mary passed away the Monday after Thanksgiving, and her husband died a month later (and I missed Isabelle's funeral by not checking my e-mail). I also lost a Singing Angel friend, Erica (Bodrock) Drap, right before Christmas (she died two years and one day after my mother passed). I just hope that with the close of 2011 I see the end of DeathWatch 2011.
I really don't need a DeathWatch 2012, so let's keep death to a minimum this year.
I'm also blown away by the sheer number of famous people who died in '11. However, the tribute done by Turner Classic Movies was beautiful, so I close this entry with their tribute and dedicate it to all we have lost. The song is "Before You Go" by OK Sweetheart. Take care, everyone.
But before I go, I must say this: 2011 saw the loss of a number of great people. Three elders from my church passed away (Isabelle Bucklew, Bill and Mary Riley), and what makes it painful is because Mary passed away the Monday after Thanksgiving, and her husband died a month later (and I missed Isabelle's funeral by not checking my e-mail). I also lost a Singing Angel friend, Erica (Bodrock) Drap, right before Christmas (she died two years and one day after my mother passed). I just hope that with the close of 2011 I see the end of DeathWatch 2011.
I really don't need a DeathWatch 2012, so let's keep death to a minimum this year.
I'm also blown away by the sheer number of famous people who died in '11. However, the tribute done by Turner Classic Movies was beautiful, so I close this entry with their tribute and dedicate it to all we have lost. The song is "Before You Go" by OK Sweetheart. Take care, everyone.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
It's Been a Long, Long Time
Let's just say I've been VERY busy since my last post back in JANUARY (wow, really?). While some things have stayed the same (e.g. unresolved issues back home still ill left unresolved, with relatives I am still refusing to speak to), some things have changed...and some of it is actually good. I finished my second master's degree in June and I am now officially a PhD student (yay!). My thesis had some issues (like a last-minute cancellation of my defense in February which I have likened to the scene in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci's character is walking into the house to become a made man with the triumphant music playing only to be shot in the back of the head), but I looked at the josei manga Cappuccino as a cite for feminist critique and cyberculture study. The feminist angle was inspired by my committee chair (who has now left to go to another university, which has left me feeling a bit untethered), but it had to be modified to reflect Japanese feminism (which makes sense), and the cyberculture angle comes from the fact that the translation I read was done illegally online. It's really cool that it is available online (I'm not sure if it will ever be printed), but I'm not linking to it because of some possible copyright issues with the images I used. I believe I am protected under Fair Use, but why risk it.
Anyway, I'm posting because I'm a bit frustrated with the way my world seems to work for me. Hubby lost his job in August (which sounds like a broken record because the same thing happened at the same time last year) and because my university doesn't deign to pay graduate students during the summer, we are broke. However, the biggest thing bothering me is that my daughter's 3rd birthday is coming up on Sunday, but we are having trouble getting anyone in her age range to the party. It's not her fault that her birthday falls on a holiday weekend this year, or that despite telling two of the parents ahead of time about this they still had other plans which were taking them out of town; it's just upsetting to me because my family has had a long history of not being able to have successfully well-attended parties. It wasn't until I was an adult (with friends I've known for more than half my life) that I have been able to have enough people show up for a party to consider it well-attended. Honestly, having a 25% attendance rate for my sweet 16th (1 of 4) was a success to me because someone for me showed up.
My standards are quite a bit low.
Anyway, I'm upset for her because none of her friends will be there. Fortunately, she's young enough that it won't be a problem, but I'm not too keen on doing any more of these things. It's hard to have a party for a child when it's on a holiday when people want to spend time with their families (not for me, but that's because there are very few family members I still want to speak to who aren't living in my house), and if I had known that people were not going to show up, I would have given her a party on another weekend. We're competing with a holiday and the opening weekend of the Ohio Renaissance Festival (and we do attend this, but we go towards the end of the season so I can buy stuff on discount; that has more value to me than the 50% off entrance fee for the opening weekend, but I understand why people are going when they're going). It also helps that we do a little something for her at church, so she is going to be on cake overload for her birthday.
Maybe I'd be a little less upset if this week hadn't been so stressful, but as I seem to only function if I have at least a minimum level of chaos, stress, and instability in my life, I'm somewhat used to this. I hope my baby girl has a happy birthday anyway.
Well, it's late and despite wanting to end on a happier note, I need to be bright eyed for photos tomorrow. I'll try to make sure that I post pictures and/or video soon because my girl is TALL! She's not yet three, but she's 40 inches tall. No, that's not a typo. And she's thin, too. And she looks just like my mom. And whether you see that as a positive thing or not to end on, for me it's a good thing. Goodnight everyone. When I do get online, it's more likely my Twitter page so holler at your girl! :-)
Anyway, I'm posting because I'm a bit frustrated with the way my world seems to work for me. Hubby lost his job in August (which sounds like a broken record because the same thing happened at the same time last year) and because my university doesn't deign to pay graduate students during the summer, we are broke. However, the biggest thing bothering me is that my daughter's 3rd birthday is coming up on Sunday, but we are having trouble getting anyone in her age range to the party. It's not her fault that her birthday falls on a holiday weekend this year, or that despite telling two of the parents ahead of time about this they still had other plans which were taking them out of town; it's just upsetting to me because my family has had a long history of not being able to have successfully well-attended parties. It wasn't until I was an adult (with friends I've known for more than half my life) that I have been able to have enough people show up for a party to consider it well-attended. Honestly, having a 25% attendance rate for my sweet 16th (1 of 4) was a success to me because someone for me showed up.
My standards are quite a bit low.
Anyway, I'm upset for her because none of her friends will be there. Fortunately, she's young enough that it won't be a problem, but I'm not too keen on doing any more of these things. It's hard to have a party for a child when it's on a holiday when people want to spend time with their families (not for me, but that's because there are very few family members I still want to speak to who aren't living in my house), and if I had known that people were not going to show up, I would have given her a party on another weekend. We're competing with a holiday and the opening weekend of the Ohio Renaissance Festival (and we do attend this, but we go towards the end of the season so I can buy stuff on discount; that has more value to me than the 50% off entrance fee for the opening weekend, but I understand why people are going when they're going). It also helps that we do a little something for her at church, so she is going to be on cake overload for her birthday.
Maybe I'd be a little less upset if this week hadn't been so stressful, but as I seem to only function if I have at least a minimum level of chaos, stress, and instability in my life, I'm somewhat used to this. I hope my baby girl has a happy birthday anyway.
Well, it's late and despite wanting to end on a happier note, I need to be bright eyed for photos tomorrow. I'll try to make sure that I post pictures and/or video soon because my girl is TALL! She's not yet three, but she's 40 inches tall. No, that's not a typo. And she's thin, too. And she looks just like my mom. And whether you see that as a positive thing or not to end on, for me it's a good thing. Goodnight everyone. When I do get online, it's more likely my Twitter page so holler at your girl! :-)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Got to Keep It Brief
I've been very busy trying to finish my Master's thesis, so my posts have all but dried up. I'm teaching a class which is going okay (last quarter was better, but these aren't bad students), but I have to balance that with taking two classes that require 25 page papers at the end of the quarter as well as defending my thesis on February 25. I'm a bit stressed out, so keep me in your thoughts as I try to get through all of this in one piece.
On the home front, hubby lost his job in August, futzed around until he up and found a new job in November that required he work full time for six weeks until his training was over, and now he is working part time (mostly on the days I would normally study all day). Devi has really grown and changed over the last few months. She's already 3 feet tall (at two years old!) and she's an amazing little girl. I just wish she had more opportunities to play with other children, so I'll have to work that out.
I've not been the most fun person to be around of late, so this is an apology for everyone that has to put up with me. I hope to have my Master's done so that I can FINALLY be a PhD student. It's bad enough that I was accepted into the program last year, but that I haven't been able to graduate due to the thesis and the foreign language exam really isn't cool. That, and it is screwing me up with the Feds over my student loans, but more on that later (maybe).
To make amends, I have pictures we took from Devi's second birthday session. If I have some spare time, I'd like to put up her birthday party pictures, but that will have to wait. Good night and I will see you when I see you.
P.S. Before I forget, I will be doing a conference in San Antonio, TX in April, so I have to finish all of this stuff to qualify for funding for my trip. Yay.
On the home front, hubby lost his job in August, futzed around until he up and found a new job in November that required he work full time for six weeks until his training was over, and now he is working part time (mostly on the days I would normally study all day). Devi has really grown and changed over the last few months. She's already 3 feet tall (at two years old!) and she's an amazing little girl. I just wish she had more opportunities to play with other children, so I'll have to work that out.
I've not been the most fun person to be around of late, so this is an apology for everyone that has to put up with me. I hope to have my Master's done so that I can FINALLY be a PhD student. It's bad enough that I was accepted into the program last year, but that I haven't been able to graduate due to the thesis and the foreign language exam really isn't cool. That, and it is screwing me up with the Feds over my student loans, but more on that later (maybe).
To make amends, I have pictures we took from Devi's second birthday session. If I have some spare time, I'd like to put up her birthday party pictures, but that will have to wait. Good night and I will see you when I see you.
P.S. Before I forget, I will be doing a conference in San Antonio, TX in April, so I have to finish all of this stuff to qualify for funding for my trip. Yay.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Not Dead, Just Busy
Although it's been so many months that I doubt anybody is reading this anymore, I just wanted to put up a quick post to show that I'm not dead, I'm just incredibly busy. I will be teaching a new course in the fall (we're still on quarters until 2012, so "fall" doesn't begin until late September), and I have been trying to work on my thesis, which was supposed to be done by next month, but is looking unlikely. The drama with my family has been holding steady for awhile (I'll get into that later, if at all), and Devi's vocabulary has been exploding by leaps and bounds.
I am hoping to get into something a little more semi-regular, but I have to keep in mind that I should not vent about my students out of fear that someone will try to get me fired, again (long story; stupid student said I wrote things online that I have found do not exist, and while it made me look bad to my teaching advisor, nobody else in my department cared). I should also look to use my blog as a way to talk about my work (which will help me in processing what it is that I do) as well as to vent a little about the seemingly never-ending drama about my life.
I won't make promises, but I hope to have less venting in the future. It doesn't make me feel any better to write this out [But I will go on record that I still hold firm on my opinions of certain family members. They can't go to hell fast enough. Okay, done.], and I'm sure that people don't want to read about this anymore.
So, I apologize for complaining, and I apologize for abandoning my blog for my almost equally infrequent use of twitter.* I hope to get back on track, and I hope to revamp my page to look a little different (but don't get your hopes up).
Devi's birthday is coming up soon, so I've got to get the planning underway. I will put up pictures from that party as soon as possible.
It's too late to be posting, so I'm signing off. See ya.
*My twitter account is set to private, so if you don't have an account or cannot log into yours because of the twitter pop-up window, I apologize.
I am hoping to get into something a little more semi-regular, but I have to keep in mind that I should not vent about my students out of fear that someone will try to get me fired, again (long story; stupid student said I wrote things online that I have found do not exist, and while it made me look bad to my teaching advisor, nobody else in my department cared). I should also look to use my blog as a way to talk about my work (which will help me in processing what it is that I do) as well as to vent a little about the seemingly never-ending drama about my life.
I won't make promises, but I hope to have less venting in the future. It doesn't make me feel any better to write this out [But I will go on record that I still hold firm on my opinions of certain family members. They can't go to hell fast enough. Okay, done.], and I'm sure that people don't want to read about this anymore.
So, I apologize for complaining, and I apologize for abandoning my blog for my almost equally infrequent use of twitter.* I hope to get back on track, and I hope to revamp my page to look a little different (but don't get your hopes up).
Devi's birthday is coming up soon, so I've got to get the planning underway. I will put up pictures from that party as soon as possible.
It's too late to be posting, so I'm signing off. See ya.
*My twitter account is set to private, so if you don't have an account or cannot log into yours because of the twitter pop-up window, I apologize.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Workin' in a (thesis) Coal Mine...
It's the second week of Spring Quarter, and I just wanted to touch base here while I had a few minutes (time I really don't have) to talk about things.
I managed to get through last quarter with my head intact. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of reading my online evaluation scores the day before the new quarter began, and I was slaughtered by my students. Since these things are now online, only half of the class bothered to do the evaluations, and I had at least one student give me straight 1s. The rating system is from 1 to 5 with 1 being the worst score you can receive. However, my department also makes students fill out a more comprehensive evaluation form where they actually have to answer questions with words and not filling out the bubbles on a Scantron sheet, and those have been more fruitful. I had one student say my instructions were never clear, and another student said that my instructions were very clear. I am going to go over everything with my teaching advisor soon, but I'm already making changes to my teaching style that I think will improve things.
My uncle went back home for a little while, and I had to go pick him up on what would have been my mother's birthday, so we went to the cemetery to pay everyone over there a visit. I left some flowers (and don't ask me where I got them) and I also went to see a kid who I've been kind of visiting since the 1980s. [He was born in '79 but died in '87, and he used to be in a crypt on the other side of my family's crypt wall until a new crypt was built in 2008. Unfortunately for his family, I found out why he was moved. He apparently had a sister born in '78 who died in '08, and I feel very sorry for them because they've now lost both kids.] And since my daughter was with us, she got to visit with her Gram-Gram and everyone else who departed before she was born. I then decided to go look at some crypts that are in the sides of hills there and fell on my butt running up to look in one (forgetting that I wouldn't be able to see squat, since it's mostly in the ground). I finally got to see what some of the family mausoleums look like, and I think people who buy them today are getting ripped off a little, because the old ones can hold up to eight people (even though the ones I could see into weren't full), and the ones I've seen online only hold six, but are much larger buildings.
What? The goth in me has always been fascinated by cemeteries, so this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I went looking for interesting things in a historic cemetery.
Anyway, I've been working on my Master's thesis bibliographies lately and I'm trying to get that done tonight before my meeting with my committee chair. I'm a little afraid for this meeting because, for our previous meetings, I had to turn in my bibliographies a week in advance. This time, she didn't assign that expectation, and I'm still trying to cobble one together. Except that I'm supposed to turn in two of those things this time around. It's been a challenge because a) My thesis has shifted from looking at sound and emotive effects in manga to studying online forums (and I'm not thrilled about this at all) and b) I've not been sleeping well, and this is affecting my performance and ability to work.
It also doesn't help that I gave a mini-presentation on my work Friday and had the attendees tell me that I need to find a way to bring the thesis back to what I really want to do, and since my chair wasn't there to hear this, I'm worried about the fact that what happened there has gotten back to her somehow. Great.
Anyway, I've got to get back to my research. I just wanted to stop in and say hi, and I've also got to remind myself to not get into it with a certain webcomic writer because it's a battle with no point. I made a comment on Twitter about how I was sick of reading said artist's posts about this artist's love for a certain brand of technology and it turned into a mini-war of sorts between the artist and myself. And when I had calmed down enough to try and explain my position, said artist blew me off as if it was stupid of me to think what this person said was in any way arrogant or insulting. Honestly, I've had better debates with inanimate objects than this. All I should have done was stop reading the webcomic, which I only tolerated because of moments of brilliant hilarity, but those brief moments just aren't worth it anymore. That, and because I have to keep visiting said comic's Twitter page to see the responses to me, because I never receive them (since I do not follow this person), I've wasted way too much time when I know I won't get in the last word, and I'm running the risk of getting flamed by this artist's followers. I'd prefer to work on getting to the PhD phase of my studies than engage in this kind of conversation, so thanks but no thanks.
Hopefully, I'll get some sleep tonight before my office hours begin. I'd rather not be up all night doing this bibliography work. Goodnight, everyone.
I managed to get through last quarter with my head intact. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of reading my online evaluation scores the day before the new quarter began, and I was slaughtered by my students. Since these things are now online, only half of the class bothered to do the evaluations, and I had at least one student give me straight 1s. The rating system is from 1 to 5 with 1 being the worst score you can receive. However, my department also makes students fill out a more comprehensive evaluation form where they actually have to answer questions with words and not filling out the bubbles on a Scantron sheet, and those have been more fruitful. I had one student say my instructions were never clear, and another student said that my instructions were very clear. I am going to go over everything with my teaching advisor soon, but I'm already making changes to my teaching style that I think will improve things.
My uncle went back home for a little while, and I had to go pick him up on what would have been my mother's birthday, so we went to the cemetery to pay everyone over there a visit. I left some flowers (and don't ask me where I got them) and I also went to see a kid who I've been kind of visiting since the 1980s. [He was born in '79 but died in '87, and he used to be in a crypt on the other side of my family's crypt wall until a new crypt was built in 2008. Unfortunately for his family, I found out why he was moved. He apparently had a sister born in '78 who died in '08, and I feel very sorry for them because they've now lost both kids.] And since my daughter was with us, she got to visit with her Gram-Gram and everyone else who departed before she was born. I then decided to go look at some crypts that are in the sides of hills there and fell on my butt running up to look in one (forgetting that I wouldn't be able to see squat, since it's mostly in the ground). I finally got to see what some of the family mausoleums look like, and I think people who buy them today are getting ripped off a little, because the old ones can hold up to eight people (even though the ones I could see into weren't full), and the ones I've seen online only hold six, but are much larger buildings.
What? The goth in me has always been fascinated by cemeteries, so this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I went looking for interesting things in a historic cemetery.
Anyway, I've been working on my Master's thesis bibliographies lately and I'm trying to get that done tonight before my meeting with my committee chair. I'm a little afraid for this meeting because, for our previous meetings, I had to turn in my bibliographies a week in advance. This time, she didn't assign that expectation, and I'm still trying to cobble one together. Except that I'm supposed to turn in two of those things this time around. It's been a challenge because a) My thesis has shifted from looking at sound and emotive effects in manga to studying online forums (and I'm not thrilled about this at all) and b) I've not been sleeping well, and this is affecting my performance and ability to work.
It also doesn't help that I gave a mini-presentation on my work Friday and had the attendees tell me that I need to find a way to bring the thesis back to what I really want to do, and since my chair wasn't there to hear this, I'm worried about the fact that what happened there has gotten back to her somehow. Great.
Anyway, I've got to get back to my research. I just wanted to stop in and say hi, and I've also got to remind myself to not get into it with a certain webcomic writer because it's a battle with no point. I made a comment on Twitter about how I was sick of reading said artist's posts about this artist's love for a certain brand of technology and it turned into a mini-war of sorts between the artist and myself. And when I had calmed down enough to try and explain my position, said artist blew me off as if it was stupid of me to think what this person said was in any way arrogant or insulting. Honestly, I've had better debates with inanimate objects than this. All I should have done was stop reading the webcomic, which I only tolerated because of moments of brilliant hilarity, but those brief moments just aren't worth it anymore. That, and because I have to keep visiting said comic's Twitter page to see the responses to me, because I never receive them (since I do not follow this person), I've wasted way too much time when I know I won't get in the last word, and I'm running the risk of getting flamed by this artist's followers. I'd prefer to work on getting to the PhD phase of my studies than engage in this kind of conversation, so thanks but no thanks.
Hopefully, I'll get some sleep tonight before my office hours begin. I'd rather not be up all night doing this bibliography work. Goodnight, everyone.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
News and Whatnot
Hi everyone,
I have been very, very busy lately, and this includes the announcement that I wanted to make that I alluded to on Twitter.
I am teaching 29 students, and last Wednesday was hell! They watched Tim Wise's film "On White Privilege" on Monday, and half of the class was offended by what he had to say, and the other half of the class was offended by the statements from the first half. Let's just say, when I came home that day and said "I want a cigarette," I wasn't kidding. That was stressful.
Sticking to more positive news, I have an announcement: I am officially a PhD student pending the completion of my Master's Thesis. What that means is: If I can get my shit together and finish my thesis, I can actually call myself a PhD student, instead of the generic "grad student" label I tend to use now. Am I excited? I should be, but it's hard to celebrate when your childhood home was almost sold out from under you by your aunt in collusion with my father-in-law (and the sale was only halted because my husband told my f-i-l that as heir to half of my mother's part of the house, I refused to sell).
I'm supposed to do a term paper for my graduate school class, I need to make significant progress on my thesis paper, and I have to get through teaching my course without murdering any of my students (which is harder on some days than others). I'm hella stressed because my husband has no job, didn't qualify for unemployment, and spent 1 1/2 months lying about it. The saga continues, so instead of boring everyone with the continuous exploits of my douchebag f-i-l, raging bitch of an aunt, or the genuine sorrow I feel about everything else, I'm going to just cap this with some much-anticipated pictures.
Enjoy!
I have been very, very busy lately, and this includes the announcement that I wanted to make that I alluded to on Twitter.
I am teaching 29 students, and last Wednesday was hell! They watched Tim Wise's film "On White Privilege" on Monday, and half of the class was offended by what he had to say, and the other half of the class was offended by the statements from the first half. Let's just say, when I came home that day and said "I want a cigarette," I wasn't kidding. That was stressful.
Sticking to more positive news, I have an announcement: I am officially a PhD student pending the completion of my Master's Thesis. What that means is: If I can get my shit together and finish my thesis, I can actually call myself a PhD student, instead of the generic "grad student" label I tend to use now. Am I excited? I should be, but it's hard to celebrate when your childhood home was almost sold out from under you by your aunt in collusion with my father-in-law (and the sale was only halted because my husband told my f-i-l that as heir to half of my mother's part of the house, I refused to sell).
I'm supposed to do a term paper for my graduate school class, I need to make significant progress on my thesis paper, and I have to get through teaching my course without murdering any of my students (which is harder on some days than others). I'm hella stressed because my husband has no job, didn't qualify for unemployment, and spent 1 1/2 months lying about it. The saga continues, so instead of boring everyone with the continuous exploits of my douchebag f-i-l, raging bitch of an aunt, or the genuine sorrow I feel about everything else, I'm going to just cap this with some much-anticipated pictures.
Enjoy!
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