tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post1621797806538117068..comments2023-08-17T03:59:49.343-05:00Comments on School, Life, and More Utter Madness: How Much More Can I Take? I Don't Know.SailorAlphaCentaurihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-29527971091318471372008-07-09T20:37:00.000-05:002008-07-09T20:37:00.000-05:00xxooxxooDanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03033788630762248583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-21154681136432575062008-07-09T16:41:00.000-05:002008-07-09T16:41:00.000-05:00Hugs and kisses back, my dear.XOXOHugs and kisses back, my dear.<BR/><BR/>XOXODavid Dusthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00348019814971057479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-92198209912837706272008-07-09T15:41:00.000-05:002008-07-09T15:41:00.000-05:00Thank you both for your advice. Can you believe t...Thank you both for your advice. Can you believe that it took me all day to read it? I made my husband read it first; since he owns his laziness, all he had to say was that you're very sensible.<BR/><BR/>I am the youngest in the family (if you ignore my dad's side) and to show how much the baby of the family has to do in a situation like this, my husband and I paid for my grandmother's funeral (her assets were frozen because her death was so sudden) which nearly wiped out the mutual fund completely.<BR/><BR/>My mother tells me that I'm doing a lot because I'm care, but it's self-imposed guilt that makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. If I think about what I can do here with possible job connections, online car searches, and giving them my shopping cart, I can at least feel as if I'm doing <I>something</I>. <BR/><BR/>And as for my aunt, I think it's time I placed a call to her voice-of-reason friend and tell her how non-supportive she's been. That'll fix her. ;-)<BR/><BR/>My grandmother always asked me when I would move back, and my answer was that I would come back to Cleveland once I finished school. What I have to remember is that she <I>was</I> supporting my efforts to get into the PhD program (nothing galvanizes a family better than having an outsider tell you that you shouldn't pursue your goals), so I need to really stop beating myself up over this.<BR/><BR/>And, if things really got bad, I would just consult my free attorney father-in-law to see what we could do to save the house (and this is his specialty).<BR/><BR/>It's hard to not be up there, but I know that I would never get any studying done if I were to go to school in the area (I never got much done when I was taking workshops up there, so I know what to expect), so I'm going to become the distance liaison who continues with her thrice-weekly phone calls (two to my uncle and one to my mom) and orchestrates what I can from here.<BR/><BR/>And if my aunt tries to trip and doesn't come to my church's baby shower, I suggest that she consider relocating to Canada where it would be too much effort to come and get her. But my cousin can stay.<BR/><BR/>I've never been good at placing myself first, and I'm not sure I can even start that now. The baby, however, does make me reconsider how I want to do things. I try to keep from stressing out so much in the car because I'm not trying to have a baby two months early.<BR/><BR/>Two and a half hours away seems to be a good distance that I can live with. And as long as I have the gas money to do errands while I'm away, I could swing a day trip without getting too stressed.<BR/><BR/>I have to get my head together.<BR/><BR/>I am so glad that I did post this. I needed to hear from friendly voices, and this did a lot to bring me away from the edge. <BR/><BR/>Thank you both so much. I can't say it enough.<BR/><BR/>Big hugs and kisses to you both!SailorAlphaCentaurihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09025033087326322362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-79410248710157839672008-07-09T12:35:00.000-05:002008-07-09T12:35:00.000-05:00Wow - Are you the youngest? You see I am the youn...Wow - Are you the youngest? You see I am the youngest in my family and I am the one that is expected to clean up everyone elses problems. <BR/><BR/>My family lives in Northeast Indiana and I am in Chicago. Close enough yet far enough. <BR/><BR/>I think you need to let your Aunt know how you feel and that you are watching her ass. What do you have to lose? Keeping it all inside is not healthy for you or the baby.<BR/><BR/>Going to Cleveland is not the answer. You need to stay focused on the future. <BR/><BR/>Big extra large hugs and kisses!<BR/><BR/>DanDanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03033788630762248583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851173557659818530.post-2676831067568336772008-07-08T17:15:00.000-05:002008-07-08T17:15:00.000-05:00Darling,First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your...Darling,<BR/><BR/>First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your family problems. We can't pick our families - we're stuck with what we get - for better or for worse.<BR/><BR/>But are you really sure that being in Cleveland would help anything? I'm not sure it would be healthy for you and the baby to insert yourself into all that drama.<BR/><BR/>It is NOT your responsibility to swoop in and "save" your family. Yes, you love them, and yes you care about them, and yes you'd like to help them - but sometimes you can't. Sometimes all you can offer are words of advice and encouragement and your prayers. Even with family.<BR/><BR/>In the long run I think you'll be much more of a help to your family if you have a healthy baby, a PhD and a good career. Don't throw that away just to go to Cleveland and bust some ass (as much as you might want to!)<BR/><BR/>I think you should determine exactly what the benefits/costs of a trip would be. If it turns out that you COULD truly help - without totally bankrupting you and jeopardizing the health of your baby, then go. If not, do what you can from Columbus.<BR/><BR/>YOU (and the baby) are the first priority, remember that.<BR/><BR/>XOXOXO<BR/><BR/>DavidDavid Dusthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00348019814971057479noreply@blogger.com